Seeds.

We had just been seated at El Jalisco’s Mexican restaurant after church yesterday and Moses is bouncing off the walls excited because he gets to sit next to Aunt Molly. He is over the moon happy that Grammy is back in town and his seat happens to be right next to the window overlooking the parking lot. Out of nowhere he picks up halfway through the story he was telling us in the car.

“JESUS IS ALIVE” he shouts.  Then he proceeds to tell us “He died for three…a couple days. They put Him in a tomb. Yeah... He was in a tomb. Then they opened the tomb and He was wrapped in paper (as he is showing us with his hands what it would be like if paper was wrapped around his shirt) and He was stinky (as he holds his nose and crinkles his face as if he smells Jesus across the table). And now He is ALIVE and He lives in Heaven.”

And that my friends, melted my heart. My three year old is retelling his best interpretation of Easter. JESUS is alive, and maybe for the first time ever, has comprehended and accurately retold a story he learned in Sunday school. It didn’t break and explode my heart until Davy casually mentioned Moses just told us something that he himself had never heard until age 13. Not knowing the Bible until your teenage years is baffling to me because as a child who grew up in the church I have no idea what it’s like to hear those stories for the first time as they seem to just be ingrained knowledge in my brain.

What Moses has right now is the upper hand. The little stories grow into more little stories which grow into bigger more detailed stories which one day grow into the epiphany that our God is great and humongous and LIVING! And when he does eventually decide to show acts of rebellion and sneak out of the house or lie to us or turn his back on God he will always have those little stories. Those little stories which stir up conviction and kindly remind him of the relationship he once had and will hopefully reel him back in and nurture the growth of a Godly man…those little stories are everything.

my weight loss and small babies.

My one month checkup happened last week but since my weigh-ins are not until Saturdays I had to wait to share the news.

I’ve lost 10 pounds.

That’s a baby. That’s 10 numbers going down on the scale. That’s half my goal.

Well actually my In Caroline’s Head “goal” is 25 pounds but when I first wrote The 25 I thought writing 20 was scary enough that there was just no way I could make it to 25. But here I am, already halfway to that 20 and well on my way to my goal. Honestly, my goal is to feel better on the inside and out, to be healthy, and active, and happy, and heck, put on clothes and feel good how I look in them!

Most importantly, I’m feeling great! The first 10 days I was down 5 pounds of mostly water weight (because who really loses 5 pounds in 5 days) and then after that it’s been determination and praying that’s got me to where I am. See I’m not just plumpy from “genetics” or “big boned”…I’m plumpy because I freaking love food. Staying on course has been a daily choice with the first 2 weeks literally being an hourly choice. The best part about the program is in all honestly I can eat whatever I want. I was really craving Starbucks last week so I worked my entire day’s points so that I could enjoy 6 points through a green straw. My saving grace has been dark chocolate; 1 little piece is 1 point so in the afternoons if I just HAVE TO HAVE IT I’ll have 1 and be done.

I keep the house stocked with foods I enjoy and that I can eat so I’m not tempted and I’m not spending 2 hours every night planning out my eating life. SkinnyTaste.com has never been more important to me than it is now because it has graciously already calculated all the points for me AND I already know how delicious her recipes are.

Making good food choices has been helpful but for my mental sanity I’ve formed this small support group that keeps me going every day. We are always asking each other how it’s going that day or give each other motivation or share recipes; it’s been wonderful!

This coming month the most important thing for me is to not lose focus. I understand the weight will not come off as easy anymore and some weeks I may only lose .5 pounds BUT I have to keep going every single day. I have goals and a few things on The 25 list requires me to be at a different state physically (a bikini in this current body, no way!) making this weight loss journey even more important to me.

This blog and particularly these post make me very transparent which is not always the most comfortable thing to put out there HOWEVER if my journey gives just one person the inspiration to start loving yourself more than doughnuts then it’s worth it! From a girl who loves food more than shoes I promise YOU CAN DO IT!

Overflowing.

I love when he says “Mommy guess what….I….love….YOU!”

Or when I slip my hand down the back of his pants and squeeze his hiney he starts to giggle and yell for daddy “HELP she’s getting my tooshy….save meeee”.

Or how he is completely comfortable letting me dress him in whatever I want; including a cable knit sweater or TOMS and skinny jeans. “Moses, go get your red shoes.” “My red shoes?” he replies “Your TOMS” I clarify “Ooo my TOMS”.

Or when his eyes light up when I tell him something other than “we’re going to school today” or “we’re going home after this”. He loves taking trips to see his Grandmothers or Chick Fil a or when I’ve got a little treat in my car or when we go to Publix or Target.

Or how he says words with weird accents or completely wrong: “Jack and Jiiiil went up a hiiill” (the best way to describe it is saying in your best country voice OH HELL)

Or his peculiar need to be so particular.

Or how he finishes my sentences when reading his favorite books, particularly David & Goliath as told by Chuck Smith.

Or that he is so incredibly observant. The other day I drove a way I never go and we happened to kind of pass Nuberi Frozen Yogurt and he looked at me at the red light and asked if we were getting ice cream then pointed to their sign. I’ve taken him there twice and it was at least 6 months ago. Then he asked if Molly would be there because that’s who went with us.

Or how completely joyous his personality is and his zeal for life is consuming.

Or how he likes to eat a banana or peanut butter sandwich every single morning within three minutes of waking up. His new favorite, peanut butter, jelly, and honey…because one topper clearly isn’t enough.

Or how he gets really close to my face and just looks and smiles at me with eyes that tell me we love each other to the moon and back.