The first installment {#52weeksofEmery}

It's hard to believe 8 weeks ago we were snuggled in our hospital bed wondering what life would be like with him...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#52weeksofEmery from my Instagram

Here we are.

This day has been four and a half years in the making; it's consisted of many tears, pumping sessions, guilt, organization, frustration, and joy. When Moses was born there was no discussion because the possibility of making it work was zilch so six weeks post partum I was kissing him goodbye. We'd wake up early and get home late; I learned the art of cramming every errand into a lunch hour and meal planning with my crock pot became a necessity. When talks came of adding another child to our bunch I was adamant there was no way I could leave my baby again not to mention practically working just to pay the daycare fees (hello mortgage payment!). But months turned into years and the situation didn't look like it was ever going to change so we trusted the Lord knew better than us and we became pregnant. As you may recall this past year Davy also started The Worst Job Ever and there were many frustrating conversations along with the making of many spreadsheets and saying things like well we'll just never eat out again only to come to the conclusion this budget probably won't work. But then God made the impossible possible and provided a new incredible job for Davy and for the first time ever there was a glimmer of hope that we could make this work. This great job opportunity only got better and better and better so much so we would giggle and think how is this even possible... we are so blessed. As you may recall from the photo I posted on Instagram weeks ago saying I want to remember this moment forever and that's because it was my first day as a stay at home mom.

　
Even writing this weeks later it still brings bubbling tears because I'm so incredibly grateful.... I am a stay at home mom.

　
So that's life as of lately! People told me things like you're going to go stir crazy or it's so frustrating but honestly I'm still riding on cloud nine loving my new job. I'm finding it humorously strange to have all day to do house chores whereas I used to fit everything into two hours at night. On that same note sometimes with two kids it takes all day just to do a couple loads of laundry!

No real routine has been established yet and I am perfectly okay with that because we are just enjoying the summer: I still catch myself riding down the road on a Tuesday afternoon and thinking WOW normally I would be working but I'm not and won't be...this isn't maternity leave...this is life! As Emery has gotten older it has been easier to do a few play dates with friends and I can't wait to do more!

  
 

Emery's Birth Story

Something about going into our 41 week appointment Monday May 13th and hearing I was still 3 cm and nothing had changed made me relax. I wasn't happy to agree to an induction Friday and I wasn't too excited about spending another week twiddling my thumbs but somehow in our minds it calmed things. Monday night came around and I went to bed per usual only to be woken around 2:30am with a contraction. I'd been feeling contractions for weeks but I knew immediately this lower ab cramp like contraction was labor. I waited and sure enough another then another came. I shut my eyes and tried desperately to get rest because if this was going to be anything like Moses' birth I needed rest. Every 7 min I was back to concentrated breathing and then the bathroom trips started. Contractions bounced from 5 to 3 min apart for most of the morning. Around 5am I was on all fours in the bed trying a new position to work through a contraction when Davy rolls over and noticed; very excitedly he asked "are you in labor?!" and I couldn't lie "yes, but go back to sleep and relax"....yeah right. I could see his mind wheeling and we hugged and giggled and tried to chill out. My goal was for Moses to wake up naturally for school, get him out the door, and then head to the hospital.

Things started to pick up and by the time Moses woke I was hiding during contractions so he wasn't alarmed. By 7:15am I was asking Davy how much longer before they got out of the house aka how much longer before we can go to the hospital. Before Moses left we got to sit him down and share with him today was the day Baby Brother was coming; to say he was excited was an understatement. To be able to understand that when he got picked up from school he would get to meet him was so much fun for him to think about and made our hearts swell. 

At 8am we were checking into triage and by 8:30am I was hearing the nurse's surprising voice as she couldn't believe I was already 6cm and extremely favorable. At that time she asked about pain management and after a slight waiver of pure fear of the unknown I told her I wanted nothing. She left and I cried; cried because 1. this just got real 2. I was actually attempting unmedicated birth 3. finally.

Once we got settled into our room our nurse Joanna walked us through some checks that needed to be done and once we shared I wanted to go unmedicated she turned on her crunchy side and was 100% supportive the entire time. For the next two hours I labored in the shower, walked around, and sat on the birth ball.

 

I was surprised to find that during contractions I didn't want anyone to speak a word and the only comfort I needed was Davy's hand to squeeze. Between contractions I came back to earth fully aware and able to hold conversations, laugh, and feel normal; such a difference between last time when I felt so much was out of my control. I even fell asleep on the birth ball leaning onto the bed at 8cm during a set of contractions which I didn't even know was possible.

Around 11:30am Jane, my midwife, checked to find I was 8cm with a very bulging bag; we decided we could wait until it broke naturally or she could break it and most likely I could start pushing so I went for the 2nd option because at this point a few more intense contractions were worth the few minuets her breaking it would shave off. Once waters were broken she said I was welcome to start pushing on the next contraction. Wait a minuet, is this a joke? I was so surprised that we were here; we were to the pushing stage and I'd come this far is such a short time and more importantly I wasn't freaking out! Jane sat on the side of the bed with Davy to my left and the nurse on my right and I started pushing.

The ring of fire is exactly how it sounds and ouch, it burned! Two contractions in they made it sound like he was practically out and I was able to feel the top of his head. Between the excitement, the adrenalin, and the burning I was able to push him out two contractions later.

At 11:52am our Emery Shepherd was here!
9 pounds 13 ounces 21 inches long!

 

It was surreal; he was here, perfectly healthy, sitting on my chest...all before lunchtime.

After we got settled into our room our first visitor was Big Brother Moses which is exactly how I wanted it. He came into the room and almost immediately wanted to know where the surprise was that Emery had mentioned in the letter "he wrote" to him that day. After opening his Big Brother present he started to become more interested and the rest is history. The touching, the kissing, the more kissing, the holding, the loving.

 

As first time parents there were lots of tears; fear of the unknown, fear he would die in his sleep, fear we weren't doing things right. This time around we were ol' pros and even found ourselves twiddling our thumbs Wednesday ready to go home. Here are a few more pictures of our hospital stay and our very chunky (who doesn't even look chunky today!) boy in his going home outfit.

 

God is so good and we are so blessed. To be given Moses to raise and love was enough to last a lifetime so to have Emery is like icing on the cake; our wonderful family of four.

Easter {Wordless Wednesday}

 

Vintage Noles Tee. Florida Boy flip flops. New Lego watch. Egg hunt success smile.

 

 

He can swing himself as high as the sun.

Says the Big Brother {wordless wednesday}

{bump} countdown

The curiosity and fears have started to creep in. Between nesting desires and budgets post baby and getting baby gear together I’ve failed to remember I actually have to give birth again. Ideally I want to try to go all natural like I tried last time but why is it just now dawning on me I might need to prepare for such a thing? I think all the memories of labor pains and contractions of pushing out a human are starting to float back into memory and my first thoughts are flee and run for help; it’s going to be "too painful" to "deal with" and I’m already counting myself out. Just recently I started reading natural birth stories and digging back into research and while yes they’re raw and maybe make me remember too much there is a common thread shared between all the stories and that’s empowerment. Empowerment over this incredible ability God’s given women to grow and then birth a child; taking your body into your control and being in tune from start to finish. In the end if it doesn’t work out that’s okay too but I want to feel brave and ready when the day comes. I’ve committed the rest of this pregnancy to be dedicated into getting my body and mind ready; practicing labor positions, reading more stories, reminding sweet Hubs how wonderful he was last time, and being present.

24 weeks

As for a physical update: I feel huge. My weight gain has been slow and steady (up a total of 27 lbs at my 33 week apt yesterday) but lately I feel like the belly and extra weigh are starting to take a toll on my body. The simple things like getting out of bed or sleeping comfortably have become a challenge. And the peeing, oh the peeing. With Moses I’ve never experienced being large in the warm months and after a small taste of 80 degree weather this month I started to freak out. I have nothing to wear, I’m going to melt, and I can’t survive the 90’s that are coming! I plan to live in dresses the next 7 weeks and the rest of the post partum summer and I can already tell my daily mantra is going to be: you just had a baby, give yourself a break.

25 weeks

 

We’ve pulled out most of the baby gear and I kid you not I died over the cuteness of little baby outfits at least 17 times while unloading a storage tub. First it brings up wonderful memories of Moses sporting those same outfits but then I kept saying "no way will the baby be that small" or "no way there is really a difference in 3 or 6 month outfits" which I know firsthand there are. The tub and pump and Boppy were less eventful but it feels great to know we have about 80% of the things we need and now I just need to find a place for everything in a tiny house!

30 weeks

Overall, this experience has been great. We talked labor prep and just labor in general at my appointment yesterday and it all just felt surreal. We are in the home stretch, 7 weeks left, and we’re having another baby.
Two things: I need to take a 33 week picture and add it because this last one does not do the belly justice...objects in mirror are wayyy bigger than they appear! And another thing: I swear I don't wear black all the time! It just so happens I'm wearing black a lot of the weekends when I've been taken pictures but in reality I only own 1 black tank and 2 black tops :)

Bounce out the silly! {4th Birthday Party}

This year he really got it. He counted down and eagerly awaited January 5th because "THAT’S MY BIRTHDAY AND I’LL BE FOUR YEARS OLD". In true Davy fashion a few days leading up to his special day he started making comments like "because I’m the birthday boy I’d like…" or "please let’s get a treat because it’s my birthday" and of course we ate it up. For his party we did his most favorite thing to do; go wild. We had all the friends and family get together for lunch then headed over to a bounce house and arcade to jump out all the sillies. I love seeing year after year the same gang of kids growing up and those who used to be fearful of jumping on the trampoline were now flipping off the top of the bouncy slides. Moses tends to think a lot of teenagers and adults are just as much his friends as they are ours and he absolutely loved having everyone he knew in one place. We are so thankful for the love and support these people have shown us since day one!

 

 

 

 

Thanks to smallfry.com I was inspired to do a birthday art project that he could enjoy for years to come and I love the way it turned out! Finger prints of most of our guest to make up a big bunch of balloons!

Zooooooo

This one will be filed back where it belongs (cough January cough) but for now I wanted to share one of my favorite memories of 2013 so far and it happen to take place on the very first day of the year. We are not much for impromptu trips due to work schedules and money and my over planning mind but this weekend was different; we both had the day off and Saturday afternoon I found myself calling to make sure the Zoo was open and H&M was open. Jacksonville, here we come.

We didn’t tell Moses this morning car ride was turning into an adventure until we hit I10 which made it all the more fun; we sang and talked and sang and talked and eventually pulled into the mall parking lot to load up on toddler H&M clothes. In and out as fast as we could because we had lions and tigers and bears to see!

 

The zoo had visitors but was never busy. The weather was cool but hot at the same time. We were kicking ourselves for not having enough time only to find out we had plenty of time. The experience was new and glorious.

My most favorite memory was the giraffe exhibit; as we walked up the ramp we were overwhelmed with the several very large creatures standing so close by. I was thrilled we had some vacation cash on hand to be able to feed the giraffes and I may have been more excited than Moses. We savored the few seconds it took for that long purple tongue to wrap around the branches and swallow them whole and I think both of us had smiles plastered on our faces long after it was over.

We started off the New Year right and to be honest it’s been going pretty great ever since!

Moses {four}

It’s the legs that got me. They’ve gone from tightened rolls that were slightly bowed out during his first steps to long thick legs made for running. The slim figure that once wore size 3T is now filling out every which way and slips nicely into 4T shirts and pants. The feet, oh the very smelling stinky feet that accompany the size 11 stinky shoe kills me. Who knew they turn into smelly men so suddenly?

 

He gets haircuts more than all of us and his toots will knock you out but his heart is bigger than ever. Boy, can he love. He has a heart for the Lord and I’m always hearing from school or church how well he knows the bible which makes this Mom’s heart swell. He is full of questions and they are getting harder to answer; why did Grandpa die when he was sick? Why do we love God? And his favorite response to me answers, “That just doesn’t make sense”. He’s is a heavy sponge just waiting for the right moment to be rung out like when we pass a distracted driver and he casually tells us “she’s probably texting” and has yet to master the art of when Mom says shhh that doesn’t mean to ask me again louder.

 

Despite my greatest efforts he is all boy and asks me on a daily basis when he turns 5 can he be Spiderman for Halloween. He loves nerf guns, Cars, racing any small cars, exploring with his pirate sword, and playing games. He’s learned how to play Go Fish perfectly and we are currently teaching him Old Maid (or as he always calls Old Navy/ Old Nave) and Crazy 8’s. I’m always telling him he can’t watch Superhero shows (yet) and he’s always reminding me how much I don’t like SpongeBob and how he can’t watch it. His favorite colors are red and purple but most days he throws in a few extra for variety. He is just like his mom when it comes to sweets; shows no favoritism. I blame him for our weekly Starbucks runs as he will always promise me to get ready fast so we have enough time before school.

 

He can successfully dress himself down to socks and shoes, brush his own teeth, buckle himself into his car seat, and ask for breakfast within 3 minutes of waking up. He shows his baby brothers lots of love by wrapping his arms to form a circle over my belly and talking to him; morning belly kisses are a must. He’s a Goober and won’t ever let me forget that.

 

Moses, my four year old.

 

The 25 {21-25}

I challenged myself this past year by completing 25 personal goals...to read the full list go here and to read (and see) the details of 1-5 go here and 6-10 go here and 11-15 go here and phew 16-20 go here.

21. Take a 7 day fast from TV

As I mentioned in #8 I did these two together and basically avoided all media outlets for the week. It was funny how many times in conversation it would come up “oh did you see….” And I would have to remind them I didn’t see it nor do I want you to share it with me. After all if your husband is highlighting everything that happened then I might as well have seen it myself. There were some nights I choose to fold laundry in my bedroom instead of the living room so Davy would still enjoy TV and I wouldn’t be tempted to watch. I read more than normal and spent free time working on a TO DO list instead of vegging out. About once a month I’m tempted to get cable but then remind myself how easy it is to get sucked in with our 10 channels and I feel like with 100 I may never vacuum my house again!

 

22. Jump off the high dive at Wakulla Springs

Between our unexpected move over the summer, my week long road trip, and getting pregnant in August I regretfully didn’t do this.

23. Spend time with my Grandma outside of the holidays

This didn’t happen either. Right after Christmas we found out she had failing health and ended up getting her chest cracked open during open heart surgery. It was scary and made me realize even more why I wanted to spend more time with her; she won’t be here much longer and I don’t want any regrets. We visited her just this past weekend at home where she is recovering wonderfully from everything and it was so refreshing to see her. No excuses I must see her more this year!

24. Color some part of my hair a non-natural color (I’m thinking purple)

Purple hair, don’t care. It’s small because I have a professional job. Sadly it’s faded so much since I got it done a month ago but I love it; it’s my very small revolt against adulthood.

25. Get pregnant

Even with all of our conversations I wasn’t sure if this was going to happen when I wrote this list in 2012. We wanted more children but money and logistics and honestly just being ready kept delaying the process until spring of 2012 when we started to set timelines of removing prevention and actually making this happen. And then it did. And we floated around on cloud nine elated. And we found out I was forever outnumbered in the house. And now here we are entering the third trimester and daydreaming about newborn life. Oh, what a sweet way to end the list.

 

One thing I wasn’t expecting to do over the last year was read so much; 18 books to be exact. I surprised myself because although as an adult I finally enjoy reading but I never felt like I was a book worm. My problem is I start reading a book, it consumes every moment of my free time, and then it’s done a few days later. 

 

I don’t plan on making another 25 list this year because we are already expecting so much change I’m ready to ride the wave!

The 25 {16-20}

I challenged myself this past year by completing 25 personal goals...to read the full list go here and to read (and see) the details of 1-5 go here and 6-10 go here and 11-15 go here
16. Backup all our photos on an external hard drive
Didn’t happen. Why oh why do I do this to myself? The day I boot up one of our old laptops and it crashes and I’m unable to access sweet baby pictures of Moses is the day I will forever regret not taking care of this. I wanted to but after searching for our external hard drive with no luck I simply gave up. Terrible, I know. Just writing this makes me want to go on a cord hunt tonight and take care of this!

17. Vacation somewhere I’ve never been
Technically I was a lot of places I’ve never been before. In July I took a 6 day road trip with my Mom and sister for a family reunion which included driving through Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, Virginia, Maryland, and finally Pennsylvania (phew, I still can't believe we did that drive there and back within a week!). But most of that trip was driving through (not vacationing) and technically I’ve been to the Philadelphia area before so #17 was crossed off when we spent a weekend in Savannah, GA. Good friends of ours were getting married and it turned into a wonderful romantic weekend away surrounded by friends. We stayed in the heart of Savannah on one of the squares that overlooked blocks of shopping, ate incredible food all weekend, and even went on one of their famous ghost tours with the wedding party. This also happened to be the week we found out we were expecting and pregnancy exhaustion had just hit so we would put on happy smiling faces around friends but as soon as our hotel door closed I would jump into the bed and relax until we were called down for the next activity.

18. Volunteer long-term at church
Call it Baby Rabies but I knew exactly what I wanted to do for this one and that was to volunteer in the nursery; basically I wanted to smell babies once a week. Their chubby cheeks and thighs and sweet little faces just melted me and well we all know what happened after that…I was bit by the Rabies.

19. Eliminate meat from my diet for 1 month week Around October I started to review the list and think about things I needed to do before my deadline; this was one of them. I quickly decided there was no way I could pass up Thanksgiving or Christmas meals so my only option was January. January came and I put it off for a week or so until 1 month meat free was impossible. Then I told myself I would try 1 week meat free just to have a little taste of what it would be like…..and it sucked! I’m not a Meat & Potatoes type of girl but trying to come up with quick lunches and family dinners for an entire week with no chicken, fish, shrimp, or red meat was hard! We love eggs and black bean burgers but aside from that it seemed there was salad salad or more salad options. I made it 5 days meat free but when Davy walked in with medium rare steak off the grill for their Friday night dinner I caved! Blame the baby or my lack of preparation or my lack of dedication but I just couldn’t take another meal without meat! Long story short…I don’t plan on going vegetarian anytime soon!

20. Brush up on my French (a class, a workbook, a tutor, ect)
Womp womp. This is still close to my heart so I fully intend to not let 2013 pass without doing this!