me. me. me.

The emotions are commonly clumped into the words “me time” seeing it’s the only thing that makes sense. The restless, bored, overworked, frazzled, needy self needs an escape. A way to make all the bad things balance out with all the good things to make daily living harmonious. Many of days I’m not able to do what I think I want to do so I result to a sweet treat thinking it will make me feel better. Turns out the guilt of those spoonable calories just makes me feel worse. Last week I felt like I hit a breaking point. After the weekend of sulking (for a good reason) I was greeted with overloads at work and the first days of school. The time Thursday came around I was begging to jump out the window and escape. I finally told Davy honestly how I felt; mentally and emotionally not okay. I didn’t know what I needed but I couldn’t sit in this house all weekend. Maybe a girls night or expensive dinner date or yard-saleing or crafting. Fast forward to Sunday night and I’m breathing a big sigh of relief; harmony is back. And the things I thought wouldn’t solve the problem turned out bringing the biggest joys. Loving others. Chick fil a with the cousins Friday night during a crazed crowd of August birthday at the “Birthday party”, breaking a sweat hulling Moses and the cousins around Olly Wally’s Saturday, catching up with friends Saturday night, Sunday morning breakfast with the in laws, more running around with the cousins Sunday afternoon and the Emmy’s with Davy Sunday night. Not one of those things were something I though could relieve me but they did. A melting pot of joy seeing the ones I love having a great time, laughter, and special people. I am so thankful I feel refreshed. I’m ready!

I love the way Moses says “other side” when he is inspecting one ear and wants you to turn your head to see the other ear.



I love a clean mudroom.


I love that a weekend can seem like forever, in a good way.


I love that Wal Mart carries Milk & Cookies Ben & Jerry’s ice cream.


I love going to bed early with my husband.


I love that Moses adores his cousins so much, even ones that live far away.


I love the crispness in the morning air.


I love that my husband watches Big Brother with me even through its dreadfully pointless.


I love looking in my rear view mirror seeing a happy boy trying to catch the wind while the windows are rolled down.


I loved this past weekend.

slow dancing in the living room.

No news is good news, right? I find myself being quiet on here lately not because I’m too busy (which I am) but because there isn’t much to say. Compared to last week dramas, upsets, and all around bad taste this week is smooth sailing.


Things that are happening: Lots of home cooked meals, saving money, spending time with Moses and Davy (together and alone), searching for cars, getting pimples, doing the dishes, keeping the house generally clean, going to class, working hard at work.

Things that are not happening: Cardio, exercise in general, straightening my hair (going on 3 weeks of curly wild messy hair), eating 100% healthy daily, laying out my clothes the night before, pleasant bed time with Moses, winning the lottery, no TV nights, eating Chick Fil a, organizing big piles of messes.

So...about that rainbow.

Remember my post last week about Paint me an effin’ rainbow (wait, I didn’t say effin’? Maybe I was just thinking it) well…funny how things change. I find it pure irony that I used Rainbow in the title because a rainbow is what God used a sign of his provisions. Not only did God hear my cries (and cursing on the internet…..er…sorry about that God, you know I struggle) but He showed us time and time again he’s got our needs taken care of. Wednesday night we met up with my dad and The Girlfriend for dinner and throughout the evening the story was relayed in bits and pieces. No car....no car equals no school…sucks…ect. The night had almost concluded when The Girlfriend mentioned her niece is overseas for a month and she is driving her car; leaving Girlfriends car hanging out in the carport not being driven. She offered us her car. My education is important to her and she couldn’t stand to see me miss an entire semester of school because of one issue. The car runs great, has AC, and will withstand a collision; everything we could have asked for. In the meantime we are working with banks and super cool dealers (aka The Brother-In-Law) to find a permanent car. It could be weeks, maybe months away but for right now we are being taken care of and happy.
As for the other crappy parts of last week, they’re still crappy. They are situations that abound much further than my abilities therefore leaving prayer as my only option. We spent Saturday with family and close family friends remembering someone we all love.
This week starts my final semester. I am overwhelmed with joy that’s overlapped with fear. Fear that I waited to take the class I’m dreading the most until the end and there is a possibility I’ll go running out of class crying after the teacher writes our first equation on the board. Busyland may be taking a hit seeing most of my free free time (just free time is spent with the boys, doing housework, making myself beautiful but free free time is spent on the blog) is going to be spent in a math lab. I’ve started collecting images and prints for a new blog layout so this lull in blogs may lead to an opportunity for an overhaul…or just lighting my hair on fire and running around like the Holy Spirit is upon me.

Paint me a sunshine rainbow.

Well this week has taken a turn for the worser worser. Yes that’s two times worse that I thought it was going to initially be. My car is no longer a car.
It can ride down the road, park, look black, and blow cold air. However after taking it to the shop yesterday for a break check-up we found out the car is not safe. Not only are the back breaks burned up but the entire underside of the car is rusted out. So much so that the frame (you know the big best part of a car that takes the main impact of any collision) moved when lifting the car. The frame should never, ever move. And it’s terrible rusted. This next line brought me to tears: “if you were to get into any kind of collision it would practically crumble”. You mean the car I drive around with my baby happily chatting in the backseat is not safe? You mean a side collision would pretty much turn us into vegetables? That’s not something anyone wants to hear. The conversation continued and re-debated with my husband but ultimately it’s a pile of metal right now.
So here we are; real life has hit harder than we expected and we are left with one car. The one car my husband drives all day for work and cannot be two places at once. Carpooling would be an option if I quit all my classes this semester thus pushing graduation to spring. The whole situation is frustrating, stressful, and overwhelming. Yesterday was spent exploring all the potential avenues only to be closed off with road block after road block. Life isn’t always hunky dory, right?

So what’s the original reason this week was going to suck? My father in laws 1 year “death anniversary” (or whatever you’re supposed to call the worst days of your life) is Saturday.

Well what’s the other worser? My father in law’s mother (Davy’s grandmother) found out she has colon cancer. She is already a breast cancer survivor. Life’s shit sometimes.

If you're eating salad for lunch stop reading now.

This past weekend a couple girlfriends and I went to visit friends in Georgia. The trip was great, yada, yada, loved the girl time; however that is not the part I want to talk about. Let’s talk about my love for ice cream. In there small town they have their very own Ben & Jerry’s shop….yes…. an entire shop full of Ben & Jerry’s. The guilty pleasure of fresh, natural, delicious Ben & Jerry’s in tubs much larger than a pint for your liking. Walking into the store was overwhelming; so many options including so many I’ve never heard of. After much debating I went with Milk & Cookies and Chocolate Therapy.

Can you read that? Swirls of chocolate pudding ice cream. SHUT.UP.

Cookies inside cookies inside milk. New favorite.

Double scoop. Oh. My. Gosh. Mouth watering. I won’t even go into the details of the freshly made waffle cone he hand wrapped for me to place this mound of ice cream in.

If there is heaven on earth, it’s in this shop. We loved it so much we went back the very next day to do it all over again; this time I got coconut seven layer bar (cue the heavens signing). I was smiling ear to ear.

We joked in the car ride how many calories we thought each of us had consumer but ultimately agreed that it was justified due to the fact that we didn’t have this shop back home. For kicks and giggles when I returned home and out of my sugar coma I decided to Google just about how many calories I ingested. They say each for a ½ cup serving (1 scope) ranged from 200-250 but with the scopes Matt was loading into my cone seemed more like 3/4th to 1 entire cup (making each scope closer to 400 calories). Throwing in my gestimation of the cone being around 150 this brings the total close to 1,000 calories. That’s right, over half a day’s allowance of calories. I recently wrote an article for work about eating right and exercising so after hearing this I was shocked, appalled, horrified, mortified, but happily floating in a cloud of Vermont’s finest. Happy dieting!

from the outside in.

It’s the cold I crave. Rolling over in the middle of the night realizing the covers have slipped off and you’re shivering; gripping the man next to you, intertwining your legs in hopes it will stop the teeth chattering. Waking up and walking around the house in a sweatshirt until your ready to slip on your work shirt. Adding the ritual layers of scarf then gloves then pea coat before opening the door and feeling the dry cool air knock back into your lungs. Debating floor vent vs. face vent to unthaw your body while it shivers in the car waiting for the exhaust to stop coughing out white smoke. Finding it a necessity to be cupping a signature hot chocolate from Starbucks when outdoors just so your fingers don’t go numb. Bomb fires. Walking into the mall hearing childhood Christmas music playing on the loud speaker. Cuddling during any occasion. Reaching for the tube of chap stick in your back pocket, which has become a permanent accessory. The colder outside the warmer inside feels. Warmth of family of friends of my heart melting. The countdown to Winter has begun.

Repunzel

Just call me Mother Butcher, because that’s exactly what I did to Moses’ hair Sunday night. I love his blond locks and promised myself to keep them long with the occasional trim. Well it had been weeks and the hair above his ears was getting poufy so we decided to go about our normal routine of trimming it. Davy had the great idea and reassured me a number 6 on his razor was practically long hair and we should just use that instead of a comb and scissors. Well I put the razor to the back of his head and within 3 seconds of cutting I don’t notice a difference. Thinking this plan was genius I did a few more stripes before I realize what’s happening. The razor was actually giving him a buzz cut but the long hair above the buzz was hanging so long it covered it up. I panicked. At this moment I realize there is no turning back; I’ve officially screwed this up. After much gridding my teeth/snipping at Davy out of anger discussion we decide we might as well shave the back side and try to fade it in to a longer top. Trying to keep a 19 month old still was a challenge which ultimately ended in two chocolate chip cookies, lots of crying, and defeat. I tried to work as fast as I could but the night ended with an awful hair cut and me teary eyed thinking about it. Davy reassured me hair grows back but it didn’t help; until his hair grows back he’s left with an ugly hair cut.
Monday morning Davy took all the blame at daycare accusing himself of the awful cut but deep down I know he did nothing wrong. This morning I tried to shape it up a little and I think if you saw him running by you wouldn’t do a double take but as soon as you get down eye level you would notice how uneven everything is. This couldn’t have happened at a more inconvenient time due to the fact that tonight is open house at school where we will not only meet his new teachers but also meet all the parents for the first time. Lucky for us Moses is much cuter than an awful haircut and with wild smiles let’s hope they distract anyone from the patches missing on the side of his head.


And no, I’m not posting any pictures in hopes it will magically grow back if I don’t document it.


 

Eat your veggies, Kids!

Last week we cut our Friday workday short for Moses’ 18 month checkup. He is technically 19 months on the 5th of August but we were close enough. Plus we skipped the 15 month check up all together so we figured it was about time to hang out in the waiting room for a while. Here are the stats: Height: 75th percentile (not sure the actual number) weight: 28.5 lbs, also 75th percentile. I wasn’t too surprised with these stats because everyone knows he’s a “big boy”. He is very active (or “has a lot of energy” as his teachers say) so I’m not too worried he also loves to snack. The rest of the appointment he passed with flying colors. The doctor was very impressed with his verbal and motor skills and that made us very proud parents. He cracked all the nurses up when they walked in and he asked them for “shots, please!” and the tears were quickly dried up (post shots) with his choice of stickers (he picked a puppy, naturally).


Some things he does as a 19 month old (that maybe he didn’t do as a 15 month old):

• Still wakes up wanting a banana every morning.
• Knows where his head, elbows, knees, privates (which he also likes to refer to as “BOOBIES” (thanks Davy) when referring to me) hands, fingers, toes, and feet (along with all the other facial features).
• The collection of Curious George is still his favorite book but also likes to read a variety of others at bed time.
• Knows as soon as we walk into Publix where to get a free cookie and where his cold fruit puree pouches are. The pouches have been his special shopping treat for a while now but after two trips to get a cookie the boy has found a deeper love for Publix.
• Picky about where toys are placed, especially building blocks; he likes you to help balance the tower but he must be the one placing them on top.
• Working on saying “yes” to things he wants (opposed to happily saying NO when meaning yes).
• Loves to watch Handy Manny and MickyMouse Clubhouse in the mornings when I’m getting ready for work.
• (referring to Clubhouse) Mimics the characters in a singy voice “Oh Tooooootles”.
• Down to 1 bottle only at night but we are on day 3 of replacing bottles with cups (waa hoo!).
• Does art work weekly at school that is proudly displayed on the fridge.
• As soon as he is done eating dinner begs to have “bath time”.
• And lots more that makes up smile all day long but I’m drawling a blank!

One thing that has been lacking in his diet is vegetables. He loves to snack and eat fruit and meat but turns his nose up to any plain veggies. I’ve made a commitment to transform his eating and I’m proud to say its gone great! I researched some healthy snacks and side items that deliciously hide veggies. Two big hits are broccoli nuggets and carrot, zucchini, applesauce muffins. We’ve also bought fruit leathers and Pirate Booty Veggies (a healthy puffed snack like Cheetoes) for snack. I wanted toddler friendly snacks without skimping on the nutrition. For dinners I always incorporate a veggie nugget paired with a chemical free natural beef hotdog, organic Mac n cheese, or part of the dinner we’re eating. I’m reverting back to baby Moses style of eating and plan to make a few vegetable purees I can add to scrambled eggs, meat loafs, or anything else he enjoys.

We are eating up his daily new words and how his personality has formed into a little boy; it’s hard to believe we can fall deeper and deeper in love with him (yeah I say it every month but it’s TRUE!)

 

My week in a nutshell. A small nutshell.

This week has sucked, ya’ll. If you have been apart of my week via Twitter, Friends, Hubby, Moses, you didn’t technically suck or make things sucky, I’ve just been in a slump. Largely in part to the fact that I pretty much quit P90X cold turkey after one week. That wasn’t my intentions or desires, it just kind of happened. We did great the first week but were constantly struggling with the food preparations. It felt like my entire day was centered around eating and cooking and prepping and eating; it was consuming every hour of my evening and I became bitter. We both got bitter we barely spent time together and by 10 o’clock after dinner, Moses, working out and turning around to cook for the next day’s lunch we were exhausted. I love food but I don’t love it controlling my life. We had full intentions of sitting down to modify what we were eating and make this a lot easier but instead we ate Chick fil a and sweets and junk. As this week has progressed I’ve started to feel worse and worse with no desire to work out. I honestly think not working out mixed with eating crappy has caused my body get into a slump. I’ve had every intention to turn things around but failed daily. This weekend we are headed out of town but by Monday morning I’m turning this train wreck back around. On a positive note the P90X workouts are great. Normally one hour a day with an extra 20 minuets of Ab Ripper X three times a week. They were very easy to follow and could make people of all different shapes and sizes sweat. They also show you every weight lifting technique with bands mortification so we were able to avoid buying a full weight set and save a lot of money. Keep me accountable and by this time next week I hope to have positive news.