Cold {shoulder}

Hiya, I’ve been avoiding you. The past two days all I’ve wanted to do was write but instead I’ve purposely stayed away because I didn’t know how to say what I was feeling. Yesterday was rough, well actually late the night before I came to this realization which I eventually had the face yesterday morning. I spent a lot of yesterday thinking about it and I’m still not sure how I can talk about it so I’ll just brush it under the rug for another day.

The other thing on my mind is slightly more public and happening at 5pm tonight and freaking me out. Because of my control issues there are so many decisions in my life that our ME driven, particularly when it comes to making the big ones. Yes I know God has a plan but has He made a negative vs positive list to make the most logical decision? (sarcasm). When Davy got a phone call a few weeks ago about this opportunity we both knew we wanted to give it completely to God because it appears our plan isn’t working out too well; we’ve prayed over this situation, this opportunity, and have let the Lord lead. Quickly after “giving it to God” I started crunching numbers, daydreaming, and found myself saying “Lord let your will be done….but…can you please make it this salary with these benefits with these hours?”. My words were saying I trust you but my actions were falling into my old controlling ways. Davy (in a very calm, kind way) simply said pray for provision, not terms.

DING DING DING; hit me right over the head. God knows EXACTLY what He’s doing; He knows how to provide even if it’s not with the paycheck I have in mind. So here we are, the day of the interview, and all I can do is it give it to Him. Yes, I’m anxious nervous excited and a little freaked out but I know if this is His will then it will happen.

Santa vs Jesus

Enter the great Santa debate. Truth be told, I never believed in Santa. My Mom never put much emphasis on it and by the time I was old enough to ask questions my older sister made sure I knew it was a scam. There was no crushing conversation or devastation but on the same note there was never any element of excitement or curiosity about the big guy.  

Up until this year I haven’t thought much about it because Moses’ memory only went back a few hours but now he is much more curious and retains a LOT more information. Fun fact for my memory bank: Moses told us a detailed story about Uncle Danny setting off fireworks on July 4^th just a few weeks ago; as in he is holding onto memories 6 months back. I’m sure his memory will only get stronger that is why this year I feel so pressured to figure out how we are going to do this Santa thing.

 What I do know is as a Christian I want him to understand Jesus is the ENTIRE reason we celebrate Christmas; I want him to understand it’s like a big birthday party and we are celebrating the birth of our Savior. I want him to look forward to the Christmas eve church service and really understand. But more and more as an adult I’m hearing how much people loved believing in Santa as a child. The excitement of thinking he was coming to bring presents, leaving milk & cookies, and finding the gifts Santa brings; I don’t want to take that away from him. Ok so simple enough, we say Santa dropped off a few of the gifts and that be it? Not so fast.

What about when he asks me questions about Santa….I REFUSE to lie. There is no way I’m carrying on a lie and snowballing the thing until it turns into this scaring moment when he’s 8 and finds out it’s Daddy’s paycheck that really brings the gifts. I would be comfortable just smiling as he talks about Santa or expresses his excitement but there is no way I could make a remark like “Santa’s watching so you better be good”. So here I sit, unsure.

 I’d love to hear your thoughts; what you experienced as a child, what you tell your kids, how that effected them.

 And if you’re wondering, we are still sticking by our views last year about keeping things simple. There will not be 100 presents for 1 child under our tree and we did not go broke buying for each other. I even went as far as telling the grandparents PLEASE do not buy the boy more toys because if you peaked inside his playroom you would see we have been BLESSED with way.too.much as it is.

Winner winner {chicken dinner}

Thanks so much to everyone who entered the itti bitti giveaway last week. I consider them an incredible company so it was nice to see all the love (and tweets!). The winner of this wonderful minkee blankee is: #6 Sarah

Today I’ve been walking around in a daze trying to figure out how to get myself together. Add present wrapping and cookie parties to my list of already long Monday To Do’s and you’ve got yourself one confused woman. Oh, not to mention Moses’ birthday party is only a couple weeks away and the only thing I’ve thought of is a theme! Looks like I’ll have my hands full of wonderful projects these next few weeks.

Could not be happier to be home 5 of the 7 days next week so expect a lot of picture posts or not a dang thing from me!

Happy Monday and congrats again, Sarah!

Spreading Christmas cheer {for all to hear}

A quick post to wrap up another wonderful week in Busyland. After yesterday’s post some may think how this week could be wonderful? Because despite my insecurities there is still so much to be thankful for in life. And speaking of thankful, thank you to everyone for the words of encouragement yesterday; you sure know how to reassure a friend!  

Sisters by blood, friends by choice.

Mixing in mid week Christmas cheer with a trip to see the lights. 

 

 

Motivation + Pinterest inspiration = Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeers

 

Those little guys are accompanying me to Moses’ Christmas party this afternoon. I am standing by what I said yesterday and taking an active role in school activities. It’s about time I join the other mom’s for a classroom mingle and too much sugar.

Have a wonderful weekend! 

I am a good mother.

I’ll let you in on a little secrete; I have doubts about being a mother. Not the typical oh my gosh I’m going to kill my kid with .02 more ml of medication or is he going to be killed by the bed sheet tonight but the doubt that I don’t get taken serious as a mother. It’s no secret I am a young(ger) mom; having a baby in your early 20’s is not always socially acceptable and often I feel I’m getting the “look”. You know, the look you give someone who looks young that has a kid and in your mind you’re thinking “she totally got knocked up and forced to have that kid and she’s a struggling bad parent.”

Yes, Moses was our little surprise but that doesn’t mean I don’t love him as much as I would if he was “planned”. God’s plan is so much bigger than my mapped out live-college-life-get-masters-get-phD-have-my-office-door-say-Dr.-Caroline-and-have-really-nice-leather-shrink-couch plan. 

I can’t imagine life any different than happily married with a toddler. My heart would literally explode if I could even begin to express the deep love I have for my son and life so why do I doubt? Because I can’t get past people’s opinions. I have built up these walls of insecurities that keep me from being the room mom or doing more “mommy things” I’d like all because I’m afraid. It may sound silly to some and dead on for others.

My resolution: To break down the walls, to jump in feet first, to prove them wrong. I am a good mother. Now I need to let myself accept that.

I am a good mother.

Our day long date.

It began when we kissed Daddy goodbye so he could be a good friend and help someone paint and move into their new home. We got ready, grabbed our bags, and were out the door ready to take on the world. Moses doesn’t really understand the term “running errands” so he kept asking about the stores and our errands. I made the mistake of planning smack dab at nap time so after a few stores he was getting….fussy. I promised him playground time for patience and Chick Fil A if he would JUST SIT STILL while I debated over Christmas presents. We finally ate our lunch, which included ice cream (if you know me or Mo that’s a big OBVIOUS) and headed home for a nap. 
 After nap it was a little Wii time (separate post about my son’s incredible coordination coming later) then getting ready for our evening date. We sat at our table for 2 and enjoyed dinner together until it was time for the main event; movies in the park. It happened to be freezing (for Florida) so we were head to toe bundled up. They did such a wonderful job putting on the event and even though there were hundreds of people there it felt like our own special date. They had a booth with 100’s of homemade cookies and hot chocolate and popcorn. After grabbing our goodies we found a little area in the grass and laid out our blanket. I place Moses between my legs and we kept each other warm with body heat and scarves. Even though he ate an entire kids pizza for dinner he managed to sit there and eat every last one of those popcorn kernels while watching Christmas classics on the big screen; he even stood up to pick up the handful that fell out of his bag (like mother like son!).

It was a Saturday with a purpose; our special time mixed in with the holiday hustle & bustle. One of those days that will go down in my history book as wonderful!

Winner Winner {chicken dinner}

Thanks for everyone who entered the Green Eats giveaway by The Green Nursery.

The winner was selected at random and it goes to:

aerobebe1421 who was number 18!

Congrats; I will be emailing you to ask details about shipping.

There is still time to enter the itti bitti Blankee giveaway

It’s Monday, my weekend was fabulous, and I’m head over heels into the Christmas season.

{nutshell}

Good morning! I hope you all are having a wonderful start to your weekend.

Here is my favorite morning moment captured this week.

My boys + technology + down feathers.

 Now scoot over because it’s the weekend and I’m ready to be sandwiched between all this cuteness!

Christmas moments {cannot be forced}

There are certain Christmas traditions I feel the need, the urge, to uphold. One of them is that movie worthy moment when the family is all smiles hanging up the decorations while Christmas music plays in the background. The hot chocolate is steaming on the table and coordinating jammies and slippers are being worn. Cue real life. Like I mentioned I’ve really been struggling getting motivated so 90% of the decorating this year has been forced or frustrating and even one explosive fight were I angrily stood there yelling “YOU DO NOT get to decorate the tree” (yeah, I actually said that to someone living in my house). Davy did a great job putting out the outside display (dad territory) and I fixed up the side board and a few other places around the house. It was rocky but we got it done…well almost. 
 

That little 10% that needed to be done consisted of stringing the bottom tree lights (of course 1 stand had to go out in storage) and putting up the very last ornaments. After dinner and bath time we decided to let Moses help. The next thing I know our little living room had turned into a glorious movie scene; yes, the family was smiling, ornament hanging was occurring, and coordinating jammies were being wore. Davy slipped away for a moment only to return with his Pandora app playing glorious Christmas music. We all stood in a line holding of the section of lights while we walked around the tree stinging them and I watched my boys pick out the perfect place for a red and blue airplane. Those 20 minutes of pure joy cancelled out all the ho-humming it took to get the rest of the house ready. The best part about it; I didn’t force it. I wasn’t barking at the boys or putting us on a schedule…it just, happened. There we brief moments when I had to tell someone to move their arm because I was determined to capture a tiny piece of this memory! 

 Lastly, our special ornament for 2011 

 

From our wonderful mini family getaway to Downtown Disney! 

A boy and his blankee {giveaway}

I want to tell you a story about a boy and his blankee. It started a couple months ago when his eyes lit up as I pulled it out of the package. Bright blues, greens, oranges, purples, reds, and yellows; his “color blankee” as he likes to call it. That night I tucked him into bed with his blankee wrapped around his body; it was minkee soft and he liked telling me over and over again all the beautiful colors he saw.

The next night after picking out stories for us to read in the rocking chair he quickly ran over to his bed and grabbed the blankee to join us for story time. I draped it over his body to keep him warm but was thankful it was big enough to fall around my chilled legs as well. Over the next few weeks it traveled to the couch for days he wasn’t feeling well or to Mom’s bed for early morning snuggles. Some days he pulled it over his shoulders turning it into a colorful cape but every night it ended up back in the little white toddler bed to keep him warm. The boy fell in love with his blankee.

The cape in action

Want to fall in love with your own minkee blankee? Know someone who is expecting and want to shower them with something special? My friends at itti bitti want to make that happen by offering one of the readings their own blankee in one of the brand new limited edition prints. This 39 by 29.5 inch “cot size” minkee blankee is double layered with print on top and solid white on the back with a white trim at the top; it is incredibly soft and retails for $39.95.

To enter: head over to itti bitti’s site and tell me one other thing you like in their new limited edition print. Please leave your email address in the comments otherwise I have no way of contacting you!

Extra: follow @busylandb and @ittibittiUS on Twitter then tweet about the giveaway
 Giveaway closes on December 16th and is open to US and Canadian residents over 18.

 This sponsored post is part of itti bitti’s “Fall in Love with itti bitti” campaign and I was given the Carnival print minkee blankee to cuddle with my little one. The whole toddler falling in love part was completely on his own. I first met itti bitti through Eco- Distribution USA over the summer when we fell in love with their cloth diapers; ever since then I’ve had nothing but impeccable customer service and great things to say! Thanks itti bitti and Eco- Distribution!
http://www.eco-distributionusa.com
http://www.ittibitti.us/
http://www.facebook.com/ittibitti 
http://twitter.com/ittibittius 
http://www.youtube.com/use/ittibittinappyco

cardio & food {story of my life}

Small steps, that’s what it’s taking to find motivation again. I wrote a small reasonable To Do list for after work yesterday however that was even too much. I did however get a few things done. I went to the gym and did an hour of cardio while watching trash TV (which I feel is the best way to do cardio) and I was able to find inspiration for my Christmas decorations. Tonight I hope to get in a cardio class and then work on executing the rest of the decorating. After that it’s side projects and cleaning…but only if I can handle it. I need to enjoy life, enjoy the small moments; even if it just means 1 or 2 small moments a day. Here are a few moments I’ve enjoyed this past week….

Birthday breakfast for my Mom

Eggs Benedict and silver dollar pancakes with apple pear topping

Hand made whole wheat pizza dough

 Stick with me because the 2 sponsored post will be up before the week’s end. And since I’ve put last week’s giveaway on the back burner I’ve decided to keep it open until Friday. I’ll announce the winner Monday and then announce the winner’s of this week’s [yet to be posted] giveaways next Friday. Wow, I hope that didn’t confuse everyone. We have loved all these products so I hope you have a chance to read about the great companies and enter to win something for your little one.

Please excuse me {for I've turned into a pile of mush}

A slow creep; putting off one thing here or there…not really noticing anything different. Well not until I’ve realized how many hours I’ve spent sitting on the cough in a 24 hour period do I realize, I’ve got a problem. The diagnosis is somewhere between lack of motivation, lack of determination, and sheer laziness. It started right after Thanksgiving when I was just exhausted from all the hustle; I skipped the gym for family time and ate sweets because I wasn’t going to the gym. The week started and I was in too much denial to actually meal plan or grocery shop. Then I started neglected cleaning up the house, skipping daily chores like laundry, or having the motivation to do much of anything. I wasn’t feeling well so I kept skipping the gym and eventually I traded decorating the house for a couple hours of Grey’s Anatomy. 
 

There is no way I’m blaming the first season’s of Grey’s for this ripple effect but oh my gosh it’s so much easier to waste away my night watching drama at Seattle Grace then facing reality that I’ve abounded myself. The breaking point came Saturday when after spending the morning at a craft show I came home and watched 3 hours of Grey’s on the couch; the boys were out so I felt less guilty putting life on the back burner. Then that night while I was home alone instead of turning on Christmas music and decorating I spent another few hours watching Grey’s. I’d say I watched about 6 to 7 hours of Grey’s sitting on the couch in one day. Yep, that was my low.

Christmas decorating should be fun, it should feel good to have a clean house, I like how I feel after the gym….but instead, I was turning into a pile of mush. There were also things I needed to do, like work on a side social networking project or post sponsored blogs…but instead, I just sat. 

Finally last night after feeling like such a sorry piece of nothing I had the motivation to do, something. I folded laundry and actually put it away, I organized a stack of boxes in the playroom, I cleaned up all the little messes in the living room… I did something! I couldn’t, however, find it in me to decorate the tree (so Davy did it) or decorate the house or sweep or deep clean or work on the other 50 things on my to-do list. But I did something…and that’s saying something. I hated loosing myself over these last few weeks; I don’t know why it happened. I apologize to everyone who has suffered from this laziness and feel awful for abandoning it all. I’m feeling refreshed today, I’m taking it one step at a time, I’m getting it back together again.