We're Home // Summertime

Well hello dusty ol’ thing; I’ve come to catch up over a cup of coffee and the most fantastic afternoon light beaming in over my shoulder. It’s my favorite place to sit in our new home; with my back to the bay window and all the light peaking through the backyard trees into the dining room. When we started looking for a house I had no idea it was going to be so emotional or take so long; in March after 8 months and 3 contracts that fell through (thankfully) we ended up here. A 3 bedroom 2 bathroom house with nice long back deck and a great outdoor space for the kids in a wonderful family friendly neighborhood just 2 miles from Target. We just kept saying over and over again it’s perfect for us; it meets all of out needs and some of our wants; it’s ours! Thankfully the previous owner kept everything in excellent condition so there is only minor updating needed but nothing immediate (I mean technically yes you can live with a duck themed ceiling fan in one of the bedrooms). Prior to moving in we painted the kitchen and dining Colorado Gray and the living room and entry way Moonshine, both by Benjamin Moore. I had great visions of painting most of the house and getting it all cozy with personal touches this summer by life had other ideas and by life I mean two rambunctious boys! Looking back I’m thankful I’ve had a few extra months to really hone in on what I want in this space and what will best fit our daily living.

This summer was wonderful and being four days into the new school year has only confirmed how glorious summer really is. We had standing play dates with our bible study group weekly but besides that we just beat to our own drum. The gym, the splash pad, the lake, Grammys, the library; we got into a little routine of after breakfast getting out of the house until lunch time then coming home to eat, take naps, and relax until Dad got home.

Speaking of Dad, in June he was ordained as a Calvary Chapel Pastor! As in yes, I’m a pastor’s wife. I know, right? How did God miss that critical error? I guess if anyone doubts that God doesn’t call the qualified but qualifies the called then they can just look at us and see wow, God really does change lives! There is nothing good in me except Jesus. It’s been so exciting to watch Davy obey God’s calling and to get a peek into what that entails. He still works four days a week at his 9-5er but spends one day a week at the church.

Towards the end of the summer I tried to bottle up as many lazy days as possible by enforcing we don’t get out of our jammies all day or we just take it really easy. This summer I have learned to love being home; love spending time playing in the boy’s rooms or cuddling watching a movie or taking a family walk out to check the mail or just walking around saying yes, this is home. And now here we are at the start of the school year and I have a kindergartener. Let that soak in. But more on that another day.

Half a year deep.

Life has formed into this predictable scattered beautiful mess. There are so many times I’m laying in bed playing out blog posts in my head and begging myself to carve out time to write and then I wake up and the thoughts have vanished. A benefit of working full time is that I used to have so much time to think; think in the quite of my office then quickly open up a document and write. And now? The most screen time I see is through my iPhone!

I used to think I’d have so much time to conquer ALL THE THINGS but some days when Davy asks me what we did I have to admit not much of anything. Not much of anything always includes throwing everyone together for preschool drop off, running errands, picking Moses up from preschool, making his lunch, making my lunch, eventually eating my lunch, rest time, nap time, cleaning the house, play time, cooking dinner, and then a dozen feedings and diaper changes in between. The day I just described I love but someday I get down on myself for not fitting in five more things on my to do list. I’m learning how to not regret living my life and sometimes that includes talking to my mom on her couch for two hours or strolling through Target.  I’m also learning what my priorities are for each season in my life. And also am I at my goal weight? No. Do my kids know I love them? You bet! Balance; so much strange balance.

Emery turned six months old on the 14^th and I really just hated it. With your first child it’s all about the milestones and the excitement their growth and development brings. With your second you’re literally begging for time to slow down and you know they will never ever be little again. He sits like a pro, would rather have a non toy over bright chew-friendly toy any day, and loves his Mamma. Oh boy does he love me; and I say this half heart happy and half oh my gosh I’ve created a monster! Seeing as we spend almost every waking hour together we’ve formed a rather tight bond and well lets just say if an hour goes by and I’m not back he’s not very happy about it! Thankfully Davy comes in close second and they do great together so I can slip away when needed. Another thing about milestones and second kids; you don’t really care! I’ve yet to look in a baby book and make sure he was hitting his marks yet at his 6 months appointment he was right on track. It took him a long time to roll over compared to Moses (Mo was a stomach sleeper and Em was a swaddled back sleeper) but there was not one part of me that thought what if he’s two and still can’t roll over!

He’s generally a very pleasant baby; he’ll sit and play for a while then fall over and play on his stomach then do the 360 turning scoot and play with whatever else he can find then maybe whine for me to come move him. The only small (okay huge) downside is his sleep or should I say lack of sleep. He was sleeping six hour stretches then they went to four to three and not it seems like we are up several times a night. I’ve started to dread bedtime and every few days I think I may loose it over the lack of sleep but then he wakes up with a big smile and all is well again. I know what we should be doing but yadda yadda excuses excuses neither of us sleep much (side note as I’m writing this he is laying on the floor talking up a storm of babble and smiling at me as if he knows I’m talking about him).

As you can see from the pictures he’s got a noggin fit for a toddler and eyes to match; oh those big brown eyes! 9 out of 10 times stranger mention how big and beautiful his eyes are and I happily agree. Funny how I used to wonder what he would look like and now I get to stare at him all day! My newest curiosities are what will he look like as a toddler, what will his personality be like, and can I handle it if I’ve got another goof troop on my hands.

And since we are talking about growth and development I’ll throw in an update on Big Brother Moses. The questions? They’ve never stopped and my guess is they won’t until he thinks he knows more than us (so what is that…9 more years?)! He loves school and learning but right now everything is a race to the finish. He’s hitting all his school milestones and his memory is still incredible; he can quickly spout off 1-100, months of the year, countdowns, school songs, and recall a moment we shared two years ago! Aside from milestones he is still such a social butterfly! I’ve talked about it on Instragram but he has a steady girlfriend at school and when I asked why she was a girlfriend and not just a friend girl he told me because he just loves her so much. He’s also into playing tag and wrestling dad and being a typical (almost) five year old.

I’ve have so much more I want to share, mostly about the last few months, but my slice of silence is over and I’ve got big brown eyes that won’t stop staring at me!

Emery's Birth Story

Something about going into our 41 week appointment Monday May 13th and hearing I was still 3 cm and nothing had changed made me relax. I wasn't happy to agree to an induction Friday and I wasn't too excited about spending another week twiddling my thumbs but somehow in our minds it calmed things. Monday night came around and I went to bed per usual only to be woken around 2:30am with a contraction. I'd been feeling contractions for weeks but I knew immediately this lower ab cramp like contraction was labor. I waited and sure enough another then another came. I shut my eyes and tried desperately to get rest because if this was going to be anything like Moses' birth I needed rest. Every 7 min I was back to concentrated breathing and then the bathroom trips started. Contractions bounced from 5 to 3 min apart for most of the morning. Around 5am I was on all fours in the bed trying a new position to work through a contraction when Davy rolls over and noticed; very excitedly he asked "are you in labor?!" and I couldn't lie "yes, but go back to sleep and relax"....yeah right. I could see his mind wheeling and we hugged and giggled and tried to chill out. My goal was for Moses to wake up naturally for school, get him out the door, and then head to the hospital.

Things started to pick up and by the time Moses woke I was hiding during contractions so he wasn't alarmed. By 7:15am I was asking Davy how much longer before they got out of the house aka how much longer before we can go to the hospital. Before Moses left we got to sit him down and share with him today was the day Baby Brother was coming; to say he was excited was an understatement. To be able to understand that when he got picked up from school he would get to meet him was so much fun for him to think about and made our hearts swell. 

At 8am we were checking into triage and by 8:30am I was hearing the nurse's surprising voice as she couldn't believe I was already 6cm and extremely favorable. At that time she asked about pain management and after a slight waiver of pure fear of the unknown I told her I wanted nothing. She left and I cried; cried because 1. this just got real 2. I was actually attempting unmedicated birth 3. finally.

Once we got settled into our room our nurse Joanna walked us through some checks that needed to be done and once we shared I wanted to go unmedicated she turned on her crunchy side and was 100% supportive the entire time. For the next two hours I labored in the shower, walked around, and sat on the birth ball.

 

I was surprised to find that during contractions I didn't want anyone to speak a word and the only comfort I needed was Davy's hand to squeeze. Between contractions I came back to earth fully aware and able to hold conversations, laugh, and feel normal; such a difference between last time when I felt so much was out of my control. I even fell asleep on the birth ball leaning onto the bed at 8cm during a set of contractions which I didn't even know was possible.

Around 11:30am Jane, my midwife, checked to find I was 8cm with a very bulging bag; we decided we could wait until it broke naturally or she could break it and most likely I could start pushing so I went for the 2nd option because at this point a few more intense contractions were worth the few minuets her breaking it would shave off. Once waters were broken she said I was welcome to start pushing on the next contraction. Wait a minuet, is this a joke? I was so surprised that we were here; we were to the pushing stage and I'd come this far is such a short time and more importantly I wasn't freaking out! Jane sat on the side of the bed with Davy to my left and the nurse on my right and I started pushing.

The ring of fire is exactly how it sounds and ouch, it burned! Two contractions in they made it sound like he was practically out and I was able to feel the top of his head. Between the excitement, the adrenalin, and the burning I was able to push him out two contractions later.

At 11:52am our Emery Shepherd was here!
9 pounds 13 ounces 21 inches long!

 

It was surreal; he was here, perfectly healthy, sitting on my chest...all before lunchtime.

After we got settled into our room our first visitor was Big Brother Moses which is exactly how I wanted it. He came into the room and almost immediately wanted to know where the surprise was that Emery had mentioned in the letter "he wrote" to him that day. After opening his Big Brother present he started to become more interested and the rest is history. The touching, the kissing, the more kissing, the holding, the loving.

 

As first time parents there were lots of tears; fear of the unknown, fear he would die in his sleep, fear we weren't doing things right. This time around we were ol' pros and even found ourselves twiddling our thumbs Wednesday ready to go home. Here are a few more pictures of our hospital stay and our very chunky (who doesn't even look chunky today!) boy in his going home outfit.

 

God is so good and we are so blessed. To be given Moses to raise and love was enough to last a lifetime so to have Emery is like icing on the cake; our wonderful family of four.

At 2 weeks {a week late}

The birth story is written just waiting on some first pictures taken at the hospital to post everything at once. Until then I wanted to get share some things going on in the past two weeks. For the unforeseen future most things will be written in blip format because that's how my brain is functioning lately :)

He was down to 9lbs the night before leaving the hospital, 9.3lbs at his 3 day doctors apt and then at 10 days old back up to 9.11lbs. So it's safe to say he's probably 10 lbs today but surprisingly he doesn't seem big at all. He appears long and lean and I'm having a hard time dressing him in anything but newborn size clothes right now.

At exactly two weeks his umbilical cord fell off and he got his first bath. Much to our surprise he loved the water and didn't mind all of our hands in his tub. His skin has still been incredibly dry so we figured once he got a good scrub it would slightly exfoliate and pull of all the dead skin but nope, still flaky as ever!

He WAS staying pretty consistent with his nightly sleeping going from 2-6am then 6:30 until 8ish but as soon as we thought we had this covered he had other plans and has changed things up on us. Thankfully the only thing I have to do everyday is snuggle and love on this little guy so I'm not too worried about trying to figure out a schedule at this point.

At one week old I got a call from Davy that ended up landing him in the ER with a cracked rib. He dropped the weight bar on his chest during a workout (yes, he had a spot) and was breathless and in extreme pain. Living literally two blocks from the hospital it killed me that I couldn't be with him but the ER is no place for a newborn. Thankfully it was only a crack and he is doing better everyday but unfortunately it put him out of work and unable to pick up much of anything for days. Oy!

As parents of newborns, especially boys, it's no surprise to hear we've been peed on before however it was a bit of a shock when I got pooped on. And when I say pooped on I mean sprayed like a skunk with newborn poo! I was changing him on the ottoman when I lifted his legs and the next thing I know my legs, dress, couch, and anything else in sight was covered with yellow mustard muck. I took a picture because I didn't think Davy would believe me however they will never end up online. How's that for birth control?

And don't think we've forgot about Moses! He finished up baseball season and is loving life as a big brother! SUCH A GREAT BIG HELPER!

 

 

*He'll be 3 weeks old tomorrow and I'm a week late posting this....story of my life!

** These posts are mostly for my memory sake; some of the information most could care less about but since I use this blog as a life journal I wanted to write about them. I promise not every post will be a baby update :)

 

He's here! {ESW}

And just like that, in His most perfect timing, he's here!

  

Emery Shepherd Waldman

Born at 11:52am Tuesday May 15th

9 lbs 13 oz 21 inches long

 

A birth story is to come but I wanted to get out a few things about the last 5 days before they start running together.

Overall it's been an incredible experience; after a picture perfect birth we had excellent care throughout our stay at the hospital and the adjustment at home has been kind to me.

Emery surprised us all with his dark hair and complexion! We still can't get over his long fingers and mirror image feet of his Daddy's. His nose is just like Moses' which is just like mine but his head shape and chin are all his own. He had lots of built up mucus the days following birth so there was lots of burping, choking, and congestion but on day 5 we are down to just a little snoring and heavy breathing. On thing to note about his complexion is the almost non existent jaundice this boy has; not 1 but 3 nurses and our pediatrician told us they've never seen someone with such low bilirubin levels!

Moses is handling things really well. We knew taking him to school Tuesday that he would have a baby brother by nightfall and we're able to share that with him before he left which made him very excited. I had a note written from Emery to Moses telling him how excited he was to meet him and that he had a surprise waiting when he got to the hospital so needless to stay after a brief hello to Emery he was looking for the special surprise! After that he warmed up to him, help him, and has given about 85 kisses since then.

I just heard poop from the swing so that's all for now!

PS. We are so head over heels crazy in love.

Cra.

Happy Monday my friends; where the iced espresso drinks are never large enough and my To Do list is a mile long because IT’S MONDAY AND I NEED TO DO EVERYTHING RIGHT AWAY.

Today I’m over on Julie’s blog sharing a little glimpse into just how crazy I really am. Not the crazy sexy cool kind but the she’s losing her mind kind.

With my last pregnancy being over 4 years ago and a good case of Mommy Mush Brain it’s hard to say if last time was anywhere close to this pregnancy and my Super Senses. I’m not sure if the Super Sniffer or my Super Taster is worse but the combo of the two has me acting like a blood hound most days.

For example I’m sitting on the couch trying to enjoy my Dove dark chocolate square (in case you haven’t heard 12 doses of sugar a day keeps the Gestational Diabetics at bay) when all the sudden...

Keep reading at http://back2basicsblog.com/2013/01/tales-super-senses/ ...

I’ll be posting a full update later this week with bump pictures and all!

{file box}

One time my Mom and I drove from California to Las Vegas with my Aunt to visit my Cousin for a mini girl’s getaway. We didn’t have an agenda because when you’re under 21 in Vegas the best thing to do is eat and sight sees. My Cousin, who formally worked at MGM Grand, knew all the best places to see the free side shows and which hotels would really wow us. For dinner we went to Kahunaville located inside Treasure Island and had incredibly expensive virgin pina coladas and massive tropical dinner plates. My Mom had over half her meal left by the time we were all stuffed but she refused a To Go box after stating it was some of the best hibachi she’s ever tasted. She told me it would take too long to walk it back to the car and she didn’t want to carry it around; as silly as it sounds I felt sad for her knowing she’d never eat there again.

After we left dinner we were strolling around Treasure Island (or TI as they call it now to make it sound not so kid friendly) when we stopped and started talking about what we should do but being 19 years old at the time I had no clue. Walk some more? My Mom then casually mentioned we were standing in front of the Cirque du Soleil entrance and we should see the show; she knew I desperately wanted to see one but we both knew how expensive tickets were and passed on them months ago while planning the trip. I laughed and said “I wish but there is no way” then as cool as a cucumber she pulled out of her purse 4 tickets to the show. My mouth dropped…why did she have those? How did she have those? They were in her purse meaning she’s known we were going all along. The hotel, the dinner, the entrance…they knew all along. To say I was excited would be an understatement and to see they were center stage row 7 was the cherry on top. She gave up her dinner for me. She put out all that money for me. She planned it out and kept it a secret all for me.

I love this memory and hope it reminds me to never stop surprising my kids.

Worry.

Starting last Thursday I’ve been a nervous wreck about tomorrow. Those {dang} baby boards have got me thinking about more things then I’d like to yet I can’t get myself to delete it. Then someone I know personally went in for her 18 week check up with baby number 3 and found out the cord was wrapped around her neck and she was already in heaven. Cue fear. Cue trusting no One. Cue me freaking out. What if there is no heartbeat? What if they’re missing a limb? What if my world comes crashing down tomorrow? Then this happened:

³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

The first half of Sunday service church was literally written for me.  What am I worrying? Where is my trust in the Lord? Caroline, remember, this is a gift God has entrusted to Davy and I to take care of here on earth. Why am I worrying?

Tomorrow has been decided. God already knows every single hair on their little head. God already knows what they will look like, what they will act like, who they will marry, how they will die.  Thankfully I don’t need to worry about a thing. I have been so blessed to carry this baby for the past 17 weeks that there is no need to focus on tomorrow.

So then I handed over my worry to the Lord. Here ya go, along with my 8 billion other faults, let me praise You the rest of my days for the life You’ve given me. Jesus came to this earth to die for me and the sugar on top is I don’t have to worry.

²⁵ “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷ Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

²⁸ “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹ Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰ If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?

 ³¹ So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Matthew 6:25-24

Vacationing {as parents}

This is pretty much how it goes vacationing post children.

Week of: packing lists, don’t forget his special bedtime book for Grammy’s house.

Day of: WAA HOOO vacation time!! Can’t wait to be on the road, have a weekend away, waa hooo. Peace out Moses, love you! Kiss kiss, be good, bye bye.

Vacation day 1: We have arrived!! Look at all the shops! Look at all the people! King size bed on the top floor, cha ching! I love the view, I love this town, I love you hubby. Try to connect with all the other friends arriving for the destination wedding weekend.  Eat yummy overprice lunch food. Shop at the Gap even though we have one it’s just more fun that it’s standing alone on a street full of other cool shops. Shop some more. Eat some more ($3.5 cupcakes to be exact). Straighten hair, redo makeup, and get all ready for the ghost tour. Vacation!!

Vacation day 2: 815am and we’re both wide awake staring at each other like what the heck do you do after you sleep in til 8? Hold hands, smile because there is 80% less people on the streets, and find Starbucks. Starbucks next to Panera? Breakfast heaven. Time to get ready for event #2; ugh—yeah not going to straighten my hair because I’m lazy. Back from event, laying on the bed, wahh I don’t want to move because I’m on vacationnnn.  My feet hurt from last night. Time to get ready for event #3? The wedding ? Crap, I have to do the whole get ready again? Yoga pants are not okay? Hello dry shampoo. Wake it up—it’s go time.  Wedding emotion is incredible. The event itself is spectacular. I love all the love. It’s 10pm and I’m exhausted. I’m so old. We both agree- we miss Moses

Vacation day 3: We get to see Moses today!! Pack our bags, get frustrated at everyone else taking over Starbucks (how dare they!), and get on the road. Sleep, sing, and argue over who gets to hug Moses first. I explain I’m going to hug kiss hug hug kiss kiss kiss squeeze his tooshie and hug some more.

Post vacation: laundry, laundry, publix, laundry, waahhh I wish we were still on vacation. Let’s call in sick tomorrow suggests Davy. Let’s have a family day. Must work. In bed at ten.

Watch out, life is crazy post children…you just wait!

Killing me.

I want to bottle up this age and pull it out when he’s 8 and annoying and his feet smell even worse than they do now. It’s the full vocabulary mixed with the curiosity and a splash of phrase regurgitation that kills me (every time I say something kills me I think of ol’ Holden Caulfield from Cather in the Rye…anyone else?).

He tries to butter us up. Comes to give us a big hug or says I love you with a big smile on his face then immediately asks if he can have chocolate.  
He mimics my overdramatic response when showing me his latest creation or rooting us on.

His excitement for surprises is worth surprising him every day. It could be a new DVD I bring home, his favorite cup filled with milk, a trip to the ice cream store, a trip to Grammys—he is equally excited for everything.

His biblical knowledge; between school, church, and reading Bible stories before bed he retains bits and pieces of so many different stories then will randomly blurt them out when relating one thing to another. For whatever reason this past Easter he heard about Lazareth also being in a tomb and was so frustrated trying to separate the two stories. Then anytime I mention something will be 3 days long he says “that’s how long Jesus was in the tomb!” I grew up going to church my entire life and loved learning scripture as a child. I can’t wait for him to remembering verse references along with the story.

Even after months of dressing himself how proud he is to run in and show me his completed outfit. This month he’s started putting on his own socks and Velcro shoes; he wants to be able to tie his Chucks but I’m not ready to teach about bunny ears!

He is deathly afraid of the Chick Fil A cow. He stood up at school and volunteered for a clown trick yet he can’t stop shaking when he sees the cow. He keeps telling me when he’s 4 he’ll touch the cow but I highly doubt that’s going to happen.

The fact that he thinks your chest is strictly called your nipples. Just this morning he’s explaining to me how sharp a cheetah’s teeth are and how they can rip your nipple right off. I really hope I don’t run into a cheetah today.

One day I’m going to sit him down and have him just talk into the camera for hours because the voice, the words, the phrases…I know they will all be gone soon and my little boy will be a stinky sweaty teenager. Yuck!

Memory lane.

I’m sure if you feel any nostalgia towards the 1980’s and 90’s it’s due in part to seeing pictures and videos of the old TV shows and even better, home videos. We have a dozen or so from childhood that put our family in a VHS nutshell. Want to hear something really sad? I’ve never taken a legitimate home video of Moses. Yes I have a ton of 30 second to two minuet clips on the digital camera but as far as those movies you can sit down and watch…none, until this weekend. A co-worker heard Moses was playing Wee Ball this season and insisted I borrow her DVD recorder to capture the memories; oh my glorious moments on film! I did about 10 minutes of practice, 15 minutes of his game, and a 5 minuet Moses-in-the-moment filming and I loved it. I had the biggest smile while he sang and talked into the camera; he even unprompted reenacted one of my famous dance moves as a child…throwing yourself on the floor as dramatic as possible! It made me so heart happy to replay the video only moments after it happened because in a month, year, 5 years, 10 years, he won’t be the same Moses as he is in this very moment. There will be a time when I can’t precisely remember him at this age just as I have done with his first year of life but I can pull out this video and stroll down memory lane.

Life is so precious and Motherhood is such an honor.

Overflowing.

I love when he says “Mommy guess what….I….love….YOU!”

Or when I slip my hand down the back of his pants and squeeze his hiney he starts to giggle and yell for daddy “HELP she’s getting my tooshy….save meeee”.

Or how he is completely comfortable letting me dress him in whatever I want; including a cable knit sweater or TOMS and skinny jeans. “Moses, go get your red shoes.” “My red shoes?” he replies “Your TOMS” I clarify “Ooo my TOMS”.

Or when his eyes light up when I tell him something other than “we’re going to school today” or “we’re going home after this”. He loves taking trips to see his Grandmothers or Chick Fil a or when I’ve got a little treat in my car or when we go to Publix or Target.

Or how he says words with weird accents or completely wrong: “Jack and Jiiiil went up a hiiill” (the best way to describe it is saying in your best country voice OH HELL)

Or his peculiar need to be so particular.

Or how he finishes my sentences when reading his favorite books, particularly David & Goliath as told by Chuck Smith.

Or that he is so incredibly observant. The other day I drove a way I never go and we happened to kind of pass Nuberi Frozen Yogurt and he looked at me at the red light and asked if we were getting ice cream then pointed to their sign. I’ve taken him there twice and it was at least 6 months ago. Then he asked if Molly would be there because that’s who went with us.

Or how completely joyous his personality is and his zeal for life is consuming.

Or how he likes to eat a banana or peanut butter sandwich every single morning within three minutes of waking up. His new favorite, peanut butter, jelly, and honey…because one topper clearly isn’t enough.

Or how he gets really close to my face and just looks and smiles at me with eyes that tell me we love each other to the moon and back.

my ode {to single moms}

I have kept this bottled up all week because I’m a firm believer in not yelling to the internets I’M ALONE COME ATTACK ME but Davy has been gone all week and he gets back tonight and I’m so happy! Not that I can’t do it myself, not that I don’t enjoy time alone with Moses, but it’s so much easier having someone to help you! This is where I start bowing down to all you single mom’s out there; it’s hard work! Getting home from work at 6pm then starting dinner while entertaining the little guy then eating then a bath and then I’m exhausted and then he’s exhausted and then it’s bedtime and then there is still a house to clean and preparations for the next day and then you can forget exercise or additional cleaning or really enjoying TV because you’re just so tired! And then you have to get up the next day and do it all again! Wow, you mommas are amazing. It really makes me appreciate my own mother because at one point during our childhood we were broke; my mom was raising an 11 and 9 year old AND had a newborn. I’m pretty convinced she cried every night after we went to bed but I never remember her yelling or crying or freaking out because we were fighting. She did, every single day, until her Jewish PrinceCharming (or Meany Head who made us clean the house as I liked to call him) came along. I have such respect for the dedication it takes to raise a child alone and a new found appreciation for my husband who lovingly disciplines our child and does the dishes without me asking.

Go home tonight and kiss someone you love!

Spreading Christmas cheer {for all to hear}

A quick post to wrap up another wonderful week in Busyland. After yesterday’s post some may think how this week could be wonderful? Because despite my insecurities there is still so much to be thankful for in life. And speaking of thankful, thank you to everyone for the words of encouragement yesterday; you sure know how to reassure a friend!  

Sisters by blood, friends by choice.

Mixing in mid week Christmas cheer with a trip to see the lights. 

 

 

Motivation + Pinterest inspiration = Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeers

 

Those little guys are accompanying me to Moses’ Christmas party this afternoon. I am standing by what I said yesterday and taking an active role in school activities. It’s about time I join the other mom’s for a classroom mingle and too much sugar.

Have a wonderful weekend! 

I am a good mother.

I’ll let you in on a little secrete; I have doubts about being a mother. Not the typical oh my gosh I’m going to kill my kid with .02 more ml of medication or is he going to be killed by the bed sheet tonight but the doubt that I don’t get taken serious as a mother. It’s no secret I am a young(ger) mom; having a baby in your early 20’s is not always socially acceptable and often I feel I’m getting the “look”. You know, the look you give someone who looks young that has a kid and in your mind you’re thinking “she totally got knocked up and forced to have that kid and she’s a struggling bad parent.”

Yes, Moses was our little surprise but that doesn’t mean I don’t love him as much as I would if he was “planned”. God’s plan is so much bigger than my mapped out live-college-life-get-masters-get-phD-have-my-office-door-say-Dr.-Caroline-and-have-really-nice-leather-shrink-couch plan. 

I can’t imagine life any different than happily married with a toddler. My heart would literally explode if I could even begin to express the deep love I have for my son and life so why do I doubt? Because I can’t get past people’s opinions. I have built up these walls of insecurities that keep me from being the room mom or doing more “mommy things” I’d like all because I’m afraid. It may sound silly to some and dead on for others.

My resolution: To break down the walls, to jump in feet first, to prove them wrong. I am a good mother. Now I need to let myself accept that.

I am a good mother.

Our day long date.

It began when we kissed Daddy goodbye so he could be a good friend and help someone paint and move into their new home. We got ready, grabbed our bags, and were out the door ready to take on the world. Moses doesn’t really understand the term “running errands” so he kept asking about the stores and our errands. I made the mistake of planning smack dab at nap time so after a few stores he was getting….fussy. I promised him playground time for patience and Chick Fil A if he would JUST SIT STILL while I debated over Christmas presents. We finally ate our lunch, which included ice cream (if you know me or Mo that’s a big OBVIOUS) and headed home for a nap. 
 After nap it was a little Wii time (separate post about my son’s incredible coordination coming later) then getting ready for our evening date. We sat at our table for 2 and enjoyed dinner together until it was time for the main event; movies in the park. It happened to be freezing (for Florida) so we were head to toe bundled up. They did such a wonderful job putting on the event and even though there were hundreds of people there it felt like our own special date. They had a booth with 100’s of homemade cookies and hot chocolate and popcorn. After grabbing our goodies we found a little area in the grass and laid out our blanket. I place Moses between my legs and we kept each other warm with body heat and scarves. Even though he ate an entire kids pizza for dinner he managed to sit there and eat every last one of those popcorn kernels while watching Christmas classics on the big screen; he even stood up to pick up the handful that fell out of his bag (like mother like son!).

It was a Saturday with a purpose; our special time mixed in with the holiday hustle & bustle. One of those days that will go down in my history book as wonderful!

Take back your life.

I have been seeing this quote in many different forms floating around lately and it’s stuck; “if you’re not satisfied with what you’re doing everyday then maybe you should be doing something different”.  So many times we put ourselves into these rigorous routines that at the end of the day we are already regretting how we spent our hours. I am the Queen of lists and planning and it feels incredible to cross something off the list however that feeling isn’t always what satisfies. How often do we write “take 30 minutes to snuggle with my husband” or “play ball outside until the grass starts itching like misquotes”? The truth is I have exactly two hours from the time I walk into the door after work to the time I’m walking out of a tucked in boy’s bedroom. After that it’s around two hours until I’m in bed; four hours each day to be living. Honestly, sometimes I get caught up in plans and lists and the next thing I know it’s 7:15 and I haven’t even playing with my son after work. Or it’s 11pm and I haven’t smooched Davy. I am not always happy with how I choose to spend my hours…so why haven’t I changed? Life should be more about laughing then a clean living room, more snuggling and less worrying. There are some things in our current circumstance that I can’t change (like being a working mom) however that doesn’t mean I can’t control the other hours in my day. It’s time to take back your free time and fill it with things you love.

This post was sparked by the time change and the legitimate sadness I felt when it was dark walking out of the office. Just because our 7pm front yard ball game is cancelled doesn’t mean we can’t turn 7:30am into field practice.

Take back your life.

Growing up.

I'm choking back the tears. 

Growing up is a hard reality to face; epically when I know he won't want to squeeze my lips between his fingers and give me a big kiss forever.

Mr. Potato Head does Halloween.

I {almost} let the day slip by without posting about last night! I was determined to get these up as soon as possible otherwise knowing me they would be lost on the camera and posted next year.

The costume: I knew I didn’t want to pay $30 for a one time thing (I am a trained Heb after all) but at the same time I didn’t have anything in our closet I could throw together. I was browsing through Pinterest with Moses and he liked the Mr. Potato Head outfit so I figured that’s what I would make. Fast forward to last Thursday when I find out his class party is Friday (the next day) and they were supposed to wear costumes. Crap. For whatever reason I turn into Super Mom and think I can whip something up on the sewing machine in half an hour. Side note: I’ve never made a costume; I’ve never really sewn anything besides a Barbie pillows, blankets, and sleeping bags which were well over 15 years ago. At 7:30pm I left the house for Hobby Lobby, by 8:30pm I was in the craft room sketching on the back of the fabric, and by 11:30pm I was headed home with Mr. Potato Head. Call it cookie dough fuel and a little sister to help retread the machine when I messed up a miracle but I was pleasantly surprised at the outcome!

The best part was the feeling I got when he put it on; I made that, yep, his Mommy made that! The second best part was the entire thing cost me $5 and a fun night with my sister!

The night: we pregamed on Pizza and Chicken&Rice while everyone arrived, scrambled the kids together to take a few pictures, and the Walking Wagon Brigade was off. The kids ran fast to the doorbells and just as fast back to the road; about 4 houses down they were tired. About 6 houses down they were asking to be pushed from house to house. About 12 houses down someone turned into Mr. Grumpy pants and did a lot of riding on Dad’s shoulders. One thing Moses had down was his manners. He would say please &  thank you to every candy giver however he didn’t quiet master the Trick or Treat. That was fine with me because I have very mixed feels about the holiday in general but that’s an entirely different post.

Sour face in action

Happy to finally eat his candy! Please note the hot mess face action.

Overall: Awesome night. We laughed, took pictures, had fun, ate candy, ate more candy, and woke up with a stomach ache from eating candy. 

{please ignore the awful camera situation; I don't know if it was the lighting, the bright white shirt, or the photographers but they all turned out wonky!}

Pregnancy Lane.

Among being one of the best places to stalk those from your past Facebook has some other fun features as well like taking strolls through memory lane. I came across a picture of myself pregnant and it caught me off guard; I was 9 months pregnant and radiantly happy. It got me thinking about my 41 week journey and the way it can emotionally, mentally, financially physically change a person. Let’s take a stroll…

My first pregnant picture. Oh….this picture, the bittersweet joy it brings me. Back then I thought I was a little chubby but oh my gosh what I wouldn’t give to have that body again!

This was always a fun situation; pregnant tailgating. I got so many stares and drunken girls touching my belly and asking {inappropriate} questions.

I love this memory; our semi planned out and slightly rushed maternity session. My friend Sarah snapped these at sunset on the only strip of undisturbed scenery we could find in Destin that evening between restaurants and condos. 

New Year's eve...officially past my due date but that didn't stop us from going to a party to downtown 2010! The guys were showing off their "catching" skills.

And this, this is the picture. I was 9 months pregnant and having a blast with girlfriends. We were laughing and taking a group photo and I remember feeling great. Looking back my jaw drops at how huge my belly had grown; I was so oblivious back then!

One thing all these pictures have in common; happiness. I had such a happy wonderful pregnancy and these little life snapshots show it. Yes I did have a numb butt in my office chair for months but honestly everything else was a breeze. Ladies, don’t ever be camera shy when you’re pregnant….it’s those little movements in life worth remembering.