Just To-Do It.

Lists are a source of calmness; an outlet. When I am sitting in a quite environment I allow my mind to open up and think about the future; sometimes it can be stressful, sometimes helpful. I think about things, like our family beach trip, and what I’ll need to bring. I open up Word (or get out a piece of paper) and start jotting it down. Swimming diapers, bananas, canopy, ect. The list grows inside my head and is quickly transpired to paper (or screen) until I feel it’s complete. Then it gets organized. It make sense to me to clump everything for Moses’ suitcase in one section, then mine, then the food; I am able to walk into a room and gather all I need. If someone were to see my list they might think, wow, you’re crazy; but it’s actually to avoid crazy. When I get home and its time for the family to pack I can pull out the list and shut off my brain. There is no need to think when my thoughts are sitting in front of me; no need to hush the boys to remember what I needed out on the pantry. As much as the list is for me, it’s really for everyone else. If Davy asks if he can help I point to the list and without me snapping he knows what needs packing. I can be a much more pleasant easy going person with I’ve prepared a list. We are going to the beach Friday, I’m excited, the list is form, organized, and printed! Now if Friday would hurry up and get here!

 

Come, see the fruits of our labor.

We have taken so many little snippet videos of Moses the last 17 months and I’ve never posted any of them! Eventually I want to put them all together on a DVD to create a home video. I still love pulling out old videos when I was younger and watching life back then; I’m hoping the snippets all together will let Moses feel that same sense of nostalgia.

This one is showing off his dance skills. The arm quaking is a mixture of my bad dancing and Davy’s car arm bouncing to rap. The music you are hearing is a Disney music channel On Demand; I take zero ownership of it.



This is Sunday afternoon playing in our new pool. Please ignore my untanned skin and “spillage” (I have yet to adjust the back strap to avoid “spillage”).


Pool Time from CDMW on Vimeo.
Dancing w/ Mic from CDMW on Vimeo.

Barbie.

I ’m going to have a paragraph of honesty: I’m not in love with everything girl. Let me preface by saying I’m crazy about the idea of dressing a little girl and having her and experiencing her, but not everything yells YES! For instance, I’m not huge on purple and pink mixed together with princesses slapped all around. Purple and pink make a cotton candy swirl of vomit in my head and most of the time its just overkill. With that being said, my daughter will wear purple and pink- just not a full horizontal stripped puffy dress of them. I also don’t like pink and black zebra for a nursery. Pink and zebra are reserved for Diva 13 year olds or bachelorette parties, not a newborn! It screams TOO LOUD for me and I rather my daughter turn herself diva brat not me train her to be one. I also don’t like hearts or butterflies; they are just too frilly, obvious choices. I’m putting my foot in my mouth because I have seen these done nicely, but most of the time it’s not me. When she gets old enough and wants to buy a shirt with a butterfly on it then I won’t oppose; she is allowed to be her own person, this is just me venting!

Speaking of girly things that are emphasized in our society: My body! Lately I have tried to work on my emotional stability with my weight and understanding I am beautiful to those who matter and be happy with who I am this swimsuit season. Now that I’m feeling a lot better mentally I’ve started to work on the physical. I am keeping a daily food log to track where I’m messing up (whether it is sodium, fat, sweets, cards, excess, ect.) and help me stay accountable to myself on a daily basis. Not only did I make it a point to buy lots of veggies and fruit but I also made a point to not buy all the junk to go along with it. Prepping food before I’m hungry, waking up to pack a great lunch, and even planning dinners a week out are some of the other new things I’m trying. Yes I understand going to the gym and running my butt off will also help, but I’m working on one step at a time starting with lifestyle. I will also start to frequent the treadmill (hopefully) 4 nights a week (possibly 6am but I have yet to get up for that alarm). As I stay consistent with the eating and treadmill I hope to move on to more rigorous exercise. I have my end results set pretty high but I also know what’s realistic for my life. I hope to achieve the smaller goals set for these next few weeks will help me reach for the larger ones. Happy lifestyle changing!

Love is a fast song.

I can’t recall the age of when the change happened I’m guessing 15-17years old; I discovered music they didn’t play on the radio. Friends may have suggested a band and then after listening to them I would find someone who sounded like them and it would go from their. I remember having CD after CD of no name bands that I loved. At one point I emerged myself in “The Scene” (hardcore/scream-o bands mostly local nobodies but it meant the world to them); going to shows, hanging around kids with tattoos and big holes in their ears were cool and having friends (or even better, boyfriends) made me feel “in”. I realized scream after scream wasn’t really enjoyable driving in my car but I did take something from that experience; passion. There was i-don’t-care-about-anything but music attitude with so many people in The Scene and watching their outpour of commitment left an impression. I started to lean move towards punk/poppy/rock bands then to quiet/quirky artist but the idea of passion never left. Being thrusted forward dripping sweat screaming lyrics at the top of your lungs along side 50 people makes you feel something; alive. It’s those moments in songs where the music builds and builds and reaches a peak you can’t help but sing along. After becoming a wife and mom a lot of passion was drained from music and put into my family; I’m pretty much out of the loop now. Being able to listen to Pandora at work has helped me stay refreshed on what I enjoy; the influence music has is overpowering and I hope to never loose that love.

What’s on Pandora right now: Death Cab (oldie but Brothers on a Hotel bed makes me weepy inside every time), Kate Nash and Lily Allen (something about British pop singers giving the middle finger makes me happy), Ingrid Michaelson, Rouge Wave “Eyes”, and oldies but goodies Imogen Heap, Tegan and Sara, Iron and Wine. Pretty much stuck in a rut of what I love but if you have any suggestions I’ll gladly add them!

You're picture perfect

My friend Jul gave me an adorable scrapbook that included decorations for my baby shower and I’ve yet to assemble one page. There isn’t anything wrong with it except for the fact that it’s empty. Moses’ home daycare teacher has been asking for a picture of him for a year now and I have yet to bring her one. I have more empty frames in my house than full and I don’t even have a wedding album. The similarities are starting to become obvious, I’m terrible at printing pictures! I used to Photoshop pictures I posted online and nowadays I don’t even crop pictures I print. I’ve let go of some perfection issues but it kills me all my pictures don’t have perfect lighting or RGB scaling. I’m getting off topic; the reason I bring up the scrapbook is it’s about time I do it! My goal these next 7 months is to take more pictures, PRINT more pictures, and fill out that scrapbook!
Wait…7 more months until my baby is two, this can’t be! The physical changes are not as noticeable as when he was a (baby) baby but verbally its new everyday. According to the Publix scale he’s around 27lbs now and no idea how tall; the blond (with a hint of red) hair is still growing and he officially has four teeth. His top right just sprouted Mother’s Day weekend and when he smiles you can see the top left. I wouldn’t say he “articulates” sentences but he has a few new phrases he runs together: “where you going” “what’d you doing” “where’d it go”. It’s adorable to watch his facial expression change into curiosity and roll his wrist around to an open palm to say “where’d it go” (referring to his hidden straw sippy cup Aunt Danyell gave him). Davy and I both had blankeys growing up (and if wasn’t offensive I would have Davy on one side of the bed and it on the other) and get excited when Mo wants to carry his outside the crib in the morning. Of course the cuddling last two minuets before he runs for another toy but I’m hoping the bond grows. His personality has continued to develop and each week there is various new words he’s spouting off; we discovered he knew what a Speak N Spell was by holding it up and saying “E I O”. We are headed to the beach next weekend for Memorial Day and I just know he’s going to love it; the sand, the ocean, and being outdoors all day!

Turn on the BoobTube, I'm in the mood to obey!

Today marks the first NO TV Wednesdays in the W’s house! When we get home from a busy day at work and school we normally turn the TV on to zone out and relax. Most of the time its stupid sitcoms and we’ve actually come to the point every night of the week there is a “special” show we like to watch. If we could turn on the TV for that 30min or one hour show then shut down for the rest of the night, that would be great; but its normally on by 6pm and not shut off until 11pm. Sometimes it’s just the background noise in the playroom, other times its three straight hours of shows once Moses is in bed. Its addicting and a habit I’m ashamed I fall short of more than one night a week.
So last week we put our foot down to this habit; no more TV on Wednesdays. One of my favorite comedies “Modern Family” comes on that night but I’ve realized it’s not that big of a deal to miss it. Maybe one day during the week I can watch it online if I have free time. Instead of TV we’ve decided to spend more time together. We generally spend 6-8pm playing with Moses (outside, playroom, dinner) but after 8pm we grow distant into our own routines. Without the TV as a distraction we have at least two hours of time to do whatever we want, together. Tonight we have plans of hanging shelves, mirrors and pictures; we will also play each other’s tutors for our test this week. Normally Davy is a great study partner for my college courses but this week I’ve been quizzing him nightly for a new license he needs for his business. Come to think of it we have the next three Wednesdays “booked” with no TV things to do. I love the thought of alone time; time to talk like husband and wife or be silent and work along side each other. Happy Wednesday

Gifts of holidays past

I want to elaborate on my husband's gift giving past but don't want to sound like a D.B.....with that being said, let’s take a walk down memory lane. Our first Christmas together we were poor (still are, just a little less poor) so we wanted to cap the gift exchange at $20. Davy goes into the store and finds the perfect thing for me; a Skookie.

Yes what you’re seeing is a mini cast iron skillet you make a one person serving of a skillet-cookie on, hence the name Skookie. It’s a cool concept; I do love sweets, but awful gift if you’re getting one present from your spouse. I have never used it. Fast forward to Valentines Day, the most romantic gift exchange of the year…..comes home with a cutlery block.

The second I open it he acts more excited than I do and proceeds to take it out of the box. Clearly a personal purchase that was wrapped up in hopes we could keep it. At this point in our marriage I was too sweet to return them. He looked around and picked out what he truly thought I would like. Christmas this year we had a $40 stocking budget so I got him two Guy Harvery t-shirts; he decided to fill mine with tons of candy and not one but two packs of Twilight trading cards.

 I didn’t want to take my chances this Mother’s day with another household object so I made a very detailed list. The list consisted of cheap to expensive items and as long as he picked from the list he couldn’t go wrong. This post is silly and I'm not trying to hurt my husband’s feelings. The gifts may have been a complete fail but its obvious he really thinks about things I love (sweets, Twilight) and thought I would like what he picked out. He is incredibly spot-on in other areas and I’m so in love with him….gift giving just isn’t his forte!

Nobody here but us servantless American cooks...

As predicted, Wednesday has turned out to be my most relaxed day of the week. I’m looking forward to picking up the baby from daycare, running around the yard while it’s still light out, and even making dinner for my husband. And as promise I’ll take you down the journey of croissant making. I’m not going to post the recipe because honestly I didn’t like their measurements (they were too small for breakfast croissants) and I’ll alter a few things next time. Here is my Pioneer women-sque picture of what I used. 

I also wanted a before shot before I christened this beautiful, handmade cutting board a relative made me. Its made with 5 different types of wood and it’s been the biggest surprise UPS places on my doorstep.

Friday night after work I got home and went straight to prepping my butter. Yes, you have to prep your butter, all ¾ lbs (3sticks) of butter.

And then I began to baby my dough. I was too impatient to find a standing mixer and decided these guns could knead everything out by hand…that won’t happen again. With so many detailed steps of folding and flapping and molding and rolling the last thing I wanted to do what stand there for 5 minuets and knead. I love baking and find it relaxing and enjoyable; I even understand it takes time and precision to make it perfect. But when my forehead is glistening from kneading I think its time for KitchenAid to step in. Saturday morning at 7:30 I began the ever-so-important process of rolling and measuring the dough just right before cutting. This is where I would have changes things up- if I were to think about the measurements a little more I could have re cut everything to make them larger but I was too afraid the larger dough would not cook right with the time/temperature suggested. By this time the boys were anxious and ready to eat but unfortunately they had to rise over an hour before they could bake (why does Maryl Streep make it seem so easy it “It’s complicated”!).

Then here comes the biggest mistake of all, I sprayed Pam on the pans. In my head I was thinking of canned dinner rolls and the disaster they bring when stuck to the pan; what I didn’t think about was the 3 sticks of butter rolled into the dough would have melted enough to cause a great non stick surface. Good thing I checked the oven early because they were ready a good 5 minuets before the timer went off and even then half my tops were too dark and the others bottom’s were too dark.

Davy swears they were tasty and between the both of us we probably consumers 1 stick of butter that morning but I was not very impressed. The chocolate filled ones tasted a lot better because, well, they had chocolate in them! I was proud of myself for spending the first half my weekend making these delicate pastries and now that I’ve done it once I’ll know what to do to make them better next time.

I also promised pictures to capture Mother’s day and I pretty much failed. Moses started to act sick Saturday night and it all went down hill from there; he woke up miserable Sunday morning. We pretended it was no big deal and actually got dressed, headed to church, and enjoyed lunch out with my mother but dealt with a very sick baby the entire time. The poor boy slept off and on the entire day and didn’t even want to lift his head. Thankfully it was gone by Monday and our diagnosis was teething with too much sun. Fever, super drool, runny nose, sleepy, everything to make toting him around miserable. This year I actually made a detailed list (ranging in price) of things I would like for Mother’s day. Some people may gawk that I would be so needy about presents but if you know Davy’s past gift history you understand why it was a must. They woke me up with new Tennis shoes I’ve been wanting and then to trick me they waited about 30 minuets and snuck up behind my with a new wallet I’ve been drooling over. They treated me great all weekend and made me feel very appreciated- they are the best! Davy thought it would be cute to take a picture of the real Mother’s day about mid afternoon when I was taking care of the sick boy- just a reminder what being a Mom is all about! 

As you can tell, we were thrilled to get out picture taken!

flife.

T his is my Monday:

6:40am alarm
6:50 drug myself to the shower
7-7:45 get dressed and ready/ get moses ready
7:55 headed to work
815:-4:45 (with a 30 min lunch) work
5:00 School bookstore (then hike to class in heals)
5:30-7:30 class
7:45 get home
7:50 the boys get home (for family dinner)
8:00 give Moses a bath
8:15 put Moses to bed
8:20 eat dinner (to go Cracker Barrel)
8:30-10 work on my online class
10:10pm in bed

As you can see, I’m busy! I followed through and took pictures of croissant making over the weekend and have 1 picture to sum up Mother’s Day. I’ll blog a real post in a couple days…I’m projecting Wednesday being my least busy day of the week.

Yeast Baby

Yesterday my sister called to ask if she could take Moses on a play date. That doesn’t sound out of the ordinary to most except she was going to go pick him up from daycare and volunteer to watch my wild 16 month old at the park for a couple hours then take him back. Why? Because she’s wonderful. We’ve grown up as friends but have different souls, so to speak. She’s rough around the edges with a pliable heart; I radiate emotion with a small filter on my mouth. Her house is always clean and she’ll actually shrub her shower; my house is never clean and I’m even lazy about using 409. I love my son and will love our future children, but she really has a heart for all children. She doesn’t mind cleaning up their mess, or holding them extra long; she even cared for my baby all afternoon and didn’t have to. I love that she loves him and I love her for that. They enjoyed Tom Brown, a Chick Fil A lunch, and even a group kid-o shower (see….again, doing the loving/ clean thing). My ultimate sister goal would be to sync up in a couple years and have babies together!
I contemplated for about two seconds writing about Mother’s day, but then I decided I’ll say the mushy gushy for my mom’s card and the rest detailed in pictures next week.
This weekend I am conquering Croissants. I’ve mentioned it in a To Do List  how intrigued I am and would be so proud of myself if they turn out. I’ve done the research, bought the ingredient, and ready to spend my Friday night babying a lump of dough. It’s a very ME project I though they would be perfect for this weekend (yes, somehow I’m turning Mother’s day into a weekend and using it as an excuse to have a calorie free conscience). I promise if they are a disaster or delectable I’ll post pictures.

Truth serum

P.s. Friday night Davy, Moses and I went to Mori sushi and hibachi for dinner. Its was just so wonderful. We thought about dear friends Melissa and Anthony the whole because they introduced us to this food and we've spent great times with them there. We got our two favorite sushi rolls and spilt chicken hibachi. I probably ate more yum yum sauce than I did fried rice. Moses behaved great and even tied to reenact us drinking our soup by holding his bowl of pasta up to his mouth and tonguing out the ravioli. We just had the best time and joked we were the three peas in a pod. It was raining when we left and we were all laughing trying to fit under the umbrella on the way out to the car; my eyes got misty out of pure joy.

Word vomit; take one.

This weekend was out of the ordinary due to our commitment of backed to back “social events” almost everyday. Some were fun, some were long, some redundant and some were needed. With all the busy-ness surrounding us the topic of personal freedom really stuck out. A precursor personal freedom could be, but is not limited to, doing your own thing alone, doing something with a group you really enjoy, watching your choice of TV show, running needed/ family errands alone, sitting around because you want to.
Once you get married you start (if you have not already) to self sacrifice and loose some personal freedom for the love of your spouse. Of course you two compliment each other’s interest but you can no longer watch a five hour girly show marathon without considering the other person. You learn to give and take but for the most part you can do what you love. Once you have a child even more of that freedom is lost. The original sacrifice is a choice (and optional), just like with marriage, but definitely mandatory. A baby doesn’t understand you really want to paint on the back porch one afternoon and to just entertain themselves until you’re done. This is something I’ve struggled with lately. With husband needs and baby needs thrown into the mix of everyday needs the time of me-needs has gotten slimmer and slimmer. I have to clean the kitchen, I have to get up before 7am everyday, I have to change poopy diapers; I have to do so many things but which of these things do I actually want to do. In my head the balance of personal freedom and pure selfishness teeter back and forth; lots of times I’m feeling guilty or hurrying back if I’m running errands alone. Davy has no problem watching Moses alone and letting me “do my thing” but how much is too much. I want to be able to incorporate my needs of personal enjoyment with my wants of being around family all weekend to morph into one perfect activity. I want to be self sacrificing for my family but not loosing Caroline while doing it.
For personal enjoyment/ cheap family needs my girlfriend and I were out the door at 8am yard sale-ing Saturday morning. This was my first time as a grown adult going “full on” yard sale-ing, and I’m very happy with the results. We found a big church sale and scored great items for cheap! I’m excited that my decorating dreams are going from paper to reality and hopefully will be posting small before and after project photos in the next couple weeks.