10 toes {perfection}

Come May we are bringing home a wonderful...

10 fingers.
10 toes.
Perfectly healthy.
Perfectly happy parents.
And
Perfectly happy BIG brother.

Worry.

Starting last Thursday I’ve been a nervous wreck about tomorrow. Those {dang} baby boards have got me thinking about more things then I’d like to yet I can’t get myself to delete it. Then someone I know personally went in for her 18 week check up with baby number 3 and found out the cord was wrapped around her neck and she was already in heaven. Cue fear. Cue trusting no One. Cue me freaking out. What if there is no heartbeat? What if they’re missing a limb? What if my world comes crashing down tomorrow? Then this happened:

³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

The first half of Sunday service church was literally written for me.  What am I worrying? Where is my trust in the Lord? Caroline, remember, this is a gift God has entrusted to Davy and I to take care of here on earth. Why am I worrying?

Tomorrow has been decided. God already knows every single hair on their little head. God already knows what they will look like, what they will act like, who they will marry, how they will die.  Thankfully I don’t need to worry about a thing. I have been so blessed to carry this baby for the past 17 weeks that there is no need to focus on tomorrow.

So then I handed over my worry to the Lord. Here ya go, along with my 8 billion other faults, let me praise You the rest of my days for the life You’ve given me. Jesus came to this earth to die for me and the sugar on top is I don’t have to worry.

²⁵ “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷ Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

²⁸ “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹ Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰ If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?

 ³¹ So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Matthew 6:25-24

November Playlist

When the Christmas music isn’t on repeat this has been what I’ve been listening to. I love to mix it up and I think that’s why Spotify is on at least 35 hours a week. I’ve published the playlist so if you’re on Spotify search for me and jam on. Well some may require a slow dance but you get the picture.

Forever Young – Bob Dylan

Soil, Soil – Tegan and Sara
Bruises – Chairlift
Ce Jeu – Yelle
Dry Bones – Gungor
Brothers on a Hotel Bed – Death Cab
Anna Sun-Walk the Moon
What You Know – Two Door Cinema Club
Seven Devils – Florence + The Machine
Satellite Heart – Anya Marina
Call It Karma (Acoustic) – Silverstein
Slow and Stead – Of Monsters and Men
It’s Not My Fault, I’m Happy – Passion Pit
Merry Happy – Kate Nash
I Follow Rivers – Lykke Li
Primadonna – Marina and The Diamonds
 

Some are old, some are new, some are out in left field, and some are just right.

If you haven’t heard me say already Of Monsters and Men is my favorite album this year.

Blurp {16 weeks}

Every day I stand in front of my closet and struggle with what to wear. I’m in that awkward stage of pregnancy where no regular pants fit properly but only some maternity pants look decent. Most of my normal shirts are too short for maternity pants but most of maternity shirts are too big for this baby bump. My face is breaking out more than normal and my hair just straight up sucks. I haven’t felt this ugly is a long time. Glowing, yeah right.

This isn’t a fish for compliments and this isn’t to say I’m not grateful. Davy kindly reminded me that once that little baby is lying on my chest all these rough self confidence days will vanish and nothing in the world will matter except that moment. It’s just frustrating. 

Another thing on my pregnant mind is our appointment next week; you know, the big gender reveal. Since the day we started telling people of course they want to know “what do you hope you’re having” which a head’s up for everyone who’s not experience being a mother already: it’s a really hard annoying question! The last thing I want to do is yell from every rooftop I wish I’m having a __ then come to find out it’s not that and everyone thinks I’m disappointment. Of course a healthy baby that makes it to full term that grows up without any physical or mental condition is exactly what I want. Of course a little boy would be cheaper because I have a ba-gillion things already. Of course a little girl would be great because then we would have” a complete set”. This is what I keep telling myself; regardless of the gender outcome I’ll be happy but in my heart I want to agree with this statement. I have to remember so many women struggle with infertility and miscarriages and to be nit-picky about the specifics is just plain ridiculous.

The plan was to post a bump picture (finally) but I couldn’t find my belt to belt together my cardigan and dress today so of course the entire outfit is ruined. Soon, my friends, very soon. 

My head is an animal.

I’m not understanding how nail polish can ship off my fingers so fast even with a top coat and extra dry time…

I’m really enjoying buying presents for others this year, especially when I’m knee deep in Black Friday sales and literally hold up my prized find and yell YES to crazed lunatics innocent bystanders…

 

I’m slumped over on my bed every day as a stare into my closet thinking there is no possible way I can assemble something decent out of this wardrobe…

 

I’m sharing salads with Moses nowadays which is blowing my mind…

 

I’m listening to Christmas music like every good American should these days…

 

I’m thinking how at some point in this pregnancy I’m going to cave and eat Taco Bell while also thinking how fast I would vomit it all back up after saying the words “roach eggs” to myself…

 

I’m finding out the gender of our sweet little baby next week and making sure in my heart I’m happy as to whatever the outcome may be…

 

I’m struggling to find the right words to say to the almost 4 year old who keeps brining up Santa. I’m not the dream crushing evil Mom but I’m sure as heck not going into detailed lies about that big bearded guy…

 

I’m making mini cannoli cups this week…that’s if I can stop eating the ricotta cheese by the spoonful…

The good year.

We joked the other day that if Skype was around when we were kids we would have been on it all day. I remember sitting on the phone for hours just talking about nothing but never wanting to hang up. Don’t even get me started with the AIM messaging, seriously, we were ridiculous. I naturally wanted to sit close to him for everything and those cuddles are still one of my favorite things.

Every marriage has its highs and lows; the rough years, the poor years (which happened to be all rolled up into one for us), the blissful years, the years we’ve yet to experience like the empty nester years. This year marriage wise has been our best and it makes me so happy to say that; we have never been seeking God more diligently and He has never blessed our marriage as much as this past year. We’re on the same page, we rarely fight, we love each other so deeply; gosh, it’s great.

 

We’re on the same team.

He gets me.

 

His jokes make me laugh every day.

I’m his wife, he’s my husband.

Happy Anniversary Davy, my lovey.

{bigger}

This past weekend I just couldn’t take it anymore. You know when you say you’re going to take care of something 20 different times but never do? I was sick of the squishing, sitting on the floor, and still using an old crib sheet; my big boy needed a big boy bed and his Mama needed to be able to snuggle with him!

We moved his crib mattress to a toddler bed around age 2 and that’s been working fine except you can never really snuggle up for pre bedtime reading. My mother in law has a platform bed frame waiting for us in her garage but we just needed to actually go make the mattress purchase. Friday night after work we headed to the big furniture store and touched our hands where a lot of other people have sat their butts. After purchasing the mattress it was necessary to immediate go to Target to pick out bedding. I wanted it to be a family affair but if you ask Moses he would tell you “nope, just Mommy picked out my blanket and sheets” *side eye* true story. They had red jersey knit sheets and I was sold and a blue/light blue reversible quit comforter was perfect for a growing not-really-themed bedroom.

After getting it in the room and all set up the fun began; Moses loved his big bed and loved that we could get into the bed with him. That night we snuggled while enjoying stories and to be honest I really just wanted to sleep there all night. The next day he was still so excited he wanted to spend most of the morning in his room so we could hang out in his bed. We read 5 books straight and coming from the child who can’t sit still this was incredible for me. After reading he requested I just lay in the bed while he played around and brought me toys; gee son, I guess I can do that.

Now he’s been walking all of our house guest (with eyes closed of course) into his room to show it off. He made the transition seamlessly and it has brought us all a little more joy!