nineteen.

July starts tomorrow, I can’t believe it! I think I say this every time I look at the date, but I can’t believe how fast life is passing by. Moses will be 6 months on Sunday, 6 months!! I love looking back and seeing how much he’s grown and developed into such a little person. Now he sits up like a pro, can reach for his toys and pull them to him, and even move himself around. I wouldn’t call it crawling yet, but he gets up on all fours, or twos and can turn and scoot around. It takes him a while to get from point A to B, but he’s very determined and won’t let a few spills stop him. Just last night he took us both off guard by standing himself up. We don’t encourage it too much because it scares us once he stands up it’s a quick fall over if he’s not holding on. He scooted himself over to Davy (sitting Indian style) and grabbed onto his leg and stood straight up. And then later last night he was sitting by the couch and just leaned over, put his hands on the top of the couch, and was standing right next to me. I’m excited about all his new moves, but hoping his body is developed enough to handle what he’s putting it though… but I guess if he can do it then so can his body! This week its time to baby proof the house and make sure no cords or wires are sticking up because he loves any electronics that he’s not supposed to touch!
I’ve been wanting to blog about food for a while now and just now getting around to it. I know he’s not 6 months yet, but Moses hates the idea of food. We have tried for weeks to feed him the rice cereal but he turns his head and spits it right now. He doesn’t even seem interested in putting this new substance in his mouth. The other week I tried sweet potatoes just to see if it was a taste preference and I nearly chocked him. Still no luck. So this past Saturday, after another failed attempt by Davy to give him bananas, we had given up. Davy was about to toss to bowl while moses and I stood in the kitchen. davy was explaining that it didn’t taste that bad and gave me a bite. Then he took a spoon full and pretended to feed Moses, and he ate it! Just like that, put it in his mouth and swallowed. So he tried another bite, and Moses ate it again! After a couple more we moved the feeding into the high chair while Moses ate a few more bites before rejecting altogether. We were so excited even though it was short lived. Its gives us hope for the coming weeks! I just hope give I’m not picky that he won’t be picky with his food selection! And once I know he will start eating I’m going to try to make our own baby food which should be an adventure!
Wedding stuff is coming together. More meetings with more vendors and hopefully nailing down a few more big components. I’m exciting to see it coming together but nervous how quick it’s coming!
I had more to say but got distracted so now I’m lost in thought!

eighteen.

This past week:
I have really noticed how well Moses can sit up now. Just all the sudden he decided he can balance pretty well! I put the Bobby behind him in case he tumbles over, followed by a bunch of toys in front of him and he’s a happy baby! We will also put him down in the crawl position and he will just stay in the position frozen and look at you very confused! So the crawl is not quit there, but I have a feel it’s not too far behind.
Jason, Davy’s brother, his girlfriend Miheala and son Evan came in town this week to hang out with the family. Despite the circumstances, it was so nice seeing them, especially Micheala because she’s real fun to talk to and loves food just like me! We spent every night after work at the Waldmans just hanging out, which made every night a late night for me, so I was pretty tired yesterday. Thankfully Moses slept so good last night (finally only waking up once in the night like he used to) and the best part was he stayed in his bed all night so I got quality sleep! I took off yesterday for some extra hangout time with everyone so today feels so much like a Monday, but I’m very pleased to keep remembering the weekend is just starting!
Tomorrow I’m going down to Jacksonville to look for a wedding dress and hopefully bridesmaid’s dresses. I’ve decided I wasn’t completely happy with the purple we originally picked out for their dresses, and since it’s my wedding, why not have it just how I want it! I’m just hoping we’re all as successful as I picture in my mind!
So much is going on right now that keeps us busy; time is just passing by. With work, Moses, online class, and any kind of social life, the weeks and months pass as if they were single days. Before I know it the wedding will be next week! I can’t believe it’s already summer and Moses is 5 months old! People say it to me at least once a day about how quick time flies by and soon he’ll be grown, but sadly, they’re so right. Looking at him sitting there, alone, playing with his toys really made me see just how grown he is! It’s something I want to remember to savor and enjoy each stage of his life. I’m so eager for him to hurry and eat and crawl and all these things that I’m not looking at him right now and being happy for how he is now. I can already tell its going to be rough to stop nursing. Even though it can be a challenge and annoying at times taking a break for the day to find a quite room, I still love it and love the connection we have. Like when he nurses to fall asleep and he just cuddles next to me, it’s like a silent I love you.
We love him so much, I’m so happy how life has turned out.

seventeen.

( I wrote this blog a couple weeks ago and forgot to post it! so lets just say it was the last week in May :) )

What Moses has been up to:
He does this really funny thing with his right arm now. Whenever he’s mad, crying, sleepy, basically expressing any emotion, he’ll wave his arm up and down. Open fist and just waves it up and down as high as it will go. It’s so cute to hear him slapping it down on his leg or in his seat when he’s screaming in the car (getting better, but still hates to sit in his seat). Then when he’s tired and eating he will hold the arm up to his head and stroke his face. We love seeing his personality coming out this early.
He practically jumps out of your arms now. Loves to face forward or whichever your body isn’t turned! He’s getting so heavy it really takes a toll on my arms to hold him for long periods of time.
Smiles so much now. I love by just saying two words to him this huge grin appears on his face. Most of the time when someone else makes him smile and I’m holding him, he’ll bury his face in my neck like he’s shy and embarrassed! It’s so cute because he will do it over and over again.
He plays peak a boo with any kind of blanket he’s holding. It could be a burp cloth, shirt, anything, and he’ll take it and put it up on his head over his eyes and then pull it off real quick. Every time he pulls it down I try to say peak a boo really excited so he knows it’s a fun game. He will sit there and pull it up and down 15 times in a row and just smile big when he pulls it down. I know he doesn’t really understand “peak a boo” yet, but he loves whatever game he thinks he’s playing in his head.
Last night we tried to give him rice cereal for the first time. I only did ½ tablespoon of cereal because I didn’t want to constipate him. Once we mixed it, it appeared so watery it just looked like we were feeing him milk with a spoon. At first he sucked on the spoon a little but it kept dripping out of his mouth. Then after a few bites he just gave us weird looks and let each spoonful fall out of him mouth. I know he won’t be a pro the first time, but I don’t think he’s as ready as I thought he was. Maybe we got him at a bad time, or maybe he’s just not as interested in his food as he is everything else people eat. We will try again one morning on the weekend and see how round 2 goes. I took pictures and will post some soon.

Wedding plans are coming together. Met with a florist I really liked and hope to use. We ordered peacock feathers and some things for the isles this past weekend, but still have lots of work to do. It just feels good purchasing and reserving and making things permanent. The only thing that sucks is how expensive everything is! All this planning and money for one big day, and then its all over! I want things to be pretty and fun and delicious…. But the littlest details are adding up so quick! I hope to stay somewhat in our budget.
Another exciting thing that will be happening in the next couple weeks is down payment for the honeymoon! 95% sure we are going on a cruise, but I’ll tell all the details once those details are finalized!
Not that its happening anytime soon, so I need to calm down, but small talk of new vehicles has been discussed. My car is 10 years old this year and its definitely feeling old. We are getting some work done on it to make it last a little longer, but I know its day is coming and when that day comes, we need to be ready with a new car! We would never buy brand new, but any car over a 2004 is so exciting for me! It probably won’t happen until next year, but just the talk of it made my mind go wild! Now I have all this time to think about what I want. First thought being I want a Pilot of Highlander… but who knows!

sixteen.

As of late:
I started a “biggest loser” challenge at work last week. I was hesitant to even sign up because it was so easy to make excuses to not eat healthy and work out like I should, but I figured this is the best motivation that’s come my way in a while, so I took on the challenge full force. Last week we went to Publix and got tons of veggies and healthy snacks and food. I cut and prepped veggies and fruit so the excuses to eat healthy were barely there! my goal is to do cardio on our treadmill M W F (since davy’s home to help hold moses) and then everyday for 20 min during lunch do the stairs and parking garage at work. Even though its not very intense, its helps get my rate heart up and moving and motivated for the day. I got some floor exercises (abs, butt, ect) from davy’s co worker and I need to start doing those this week! Its definitely I lot of work and takes self control- but I have to be in control, otherwise I’ll never lose this weight! I wanted to take a picture last week but forgot, so maybe tonight I will take some “before” shots.
My first week weigh in was this morning and I’ve lost a 1 ½ lbs! I was hoping to at least loose so I was happy about that, but not happy about my weekend eating so I knew the weight lose wasn’t going to be significant. NO EXCUSES is my motto, wish me luck for the next 7 weeks!
My first mothers day was good, but too long. After church we went to my mom’s for a grill out and the little kids played in the water for a while. Then headed over to the Waldman’s for a little visit. My 7 I was exhausted and just wanted to cuddle up in my new sheets the boys got me! Monday has hit me pretty hard, maybe because the sheets (and snuggling Moses) felt to good to leave!
Moses is mobile now I hope he can start sitting up soon so I can actually sit him on the ground to play. Right now all he wants to do is jump out of your arms and bit everything. Then when you put him down he air swims and scoots himself in little circles trying to wiggle away. I feel bad for him because he tried so hard to move his legs, but nothing happens. I keep saying I can’t wait for him to be mobile on his own, but then I know the day that comes I have to baby proof the house and watch him a lot closer!
He has successfully learned how to raise his voice. Not crying, but just randomly belting out a yell when he’s playing! I’ve been terrible about updating any pictures of him this last month, just last night I pulled a couple hundred pictures off the camera! Hopefully by the end of this week I’ll have a few posted on here.
Wedding plans are coming along, slowly but surely. This past month we really got refocused and started seriously looking into vendors and ideas. The biggest thing is trying to figure out what’s most important and how to make the budget stretch for everything I want! Regardless, I know it’s going to be a great day, I wish I could just foresee the future and then move backwards and plan! The end of this month heading to Jacksonville to look for a dress because I’m not sure how set I am on the one I found in town. Tonight we meet with a florist and I really hope he works out.

Ps. Another big problem we are running into is daytime care of Moses. Since Davy’s mom got a job we are out of a sitter 2 days a week, and my mom just expressed last week she can’t watch him 2 full days. It’s just hard figuring out what we are going to do and how to make it fit in our budget and how to trust that the person watching Moses will take good care of him…. It makes me want even more to stay at home with him, but it’s still not an option I just pray that something will come along soon that will solve this problem!

fifteen.

I’m not ready for him to go. I’ve only been a daughter-in-law for 5 months, I’m not ready to say goodbye. Moses hasn’t even said Grandpa yet, he hasn’t even seen Moses and Alex play T ball or baseball. He hasn’t seen Davy all dressed up in his tux or all his grandkids. I knew the cancer would take him one day, but I thought we had more time. I want to have more time. I’m not ready. And as much as I’m not ready, I can’t imagine how he feels. Knowing this is nearing the end, this will kill him and it’s only a matter or time. I don’t understand why God does this to people. How can people want to say You are Lord and you’re in charge at the same time the cancer is eating away their body. If anything this makes angry towards God because they don’t understand, I don’t understand. I’m not ready. I’ve been prepping myself saying things like when not if but now that the end is nearing inside feels like a mess. Not only am I not ready for this day to come, but I’m not ready for the days to follow. How is this going to affect the family? Will people ever be able to bounce back? Be okay after X amount of time… I’m not ready. Is it time for him to accept Him? Not that I can even comprehend forever, but I don’t want to think I’ll forever never see him again…. I’m not ready, but maybe He is?

fourteen.

Two weekends ago we went to Destin to stay with my mom and little sister for her spring break. Moses hates the car so much we were really anxious about the 2 ½ hour car ride! We spoke with a doctor friend of ours who told us a little medicine cocktail to give him that would make him sleep like a baby. We felt really guilty for drugging him but knew if we didn’t he would just be miserable for hours. The cocktail worked and we had a sleeping baby the entire way to Destin. The weather wasn’t the best, lots of wind and chilly at times, so we never made it down to the beach with Moses. He did however get into the pool for the first time! The water was freezing but he didn’t seem to mind. We played in the pool for just a few minutes and then back upstairs to get warm. The condo had a big whirlpool so with our bathing suits still on we got into the tub and turned the jets on. Moses loved the “warm pool” and just leaned back and floated until his fingers pruned! Overall the weekend was fun and I can’t wait to take more beach adventures this summer when he’s old enough to face the windy beach! (I know I’m almost two weekends behind, but I’ll catch up soon with more pictures!

thirteen.

Today I’m feeling bummed. Bummed that I’m not at the park or on a play date with Moses. I think reading Matt Logelin’s blog too much has caused me to become sad of all the moments I’m missing with Moses. Watching him play with Verity at church yesterday was the first time I’ve ever seen him interact with another baby and I wish I could give him so many more of those play times. I know he’s in good hands, and he sees Beau (8 months old) twice a week at Danyell’s, but I just wish I could be more of a mother. I understand why I need to work, I get it, but am I put in this situation and not the same situation as so many of my other peers who get to be stay home moms…. Even part time stay at home mom would satisfy me. Would if we don’t have anymore kids and this is the only time I’m ever going to experience our child at age 3 months and 1 day? Today I’m feeling bummed.
On a different note, things I’m looking forward to. July 4th weekend going to the family reunion. The family seems to mesh well, as long as we all keep our respective distance after a day or so- so the idea of having all the husbands and kids coming to the reunion is going to be so much fun. Plus I’ve never been (or at least don’t remember) Nashville, hopefully we can find some extra activities to do besides reunion planned events. I’m also really excited about Mother’s Day next month! I remember last Mother’s Day only being a 10 or so weeks along and no one really knew so when they had all the moms stand up to be honored at church, I thought about it, but didn’t dare make it known yet. So this year I can’t wait to proudly stand as it being my first official Mother’s Day. And the last thing, which seems like so far away, is the wedding in November! We have been talking about it for so long already, but so much of the planning and deposits and finalizing has to be done! And then what comes after the wedding, the cruise! Oh I need to chill out because we still have 6 months, but I’m SO EXCITED about everything coming up!
I need to seriously jump drive some pictures from my laptop to add to these blogs, Moses is cuter than ever!