Dear Diary,

Dear Bronchitis,

Really? On my first week of work, not cool! Yes I know you were able to score me cough syrup with awesome drugs swirled in it to knock me out whenever I choose but still, you made me look bad!


Dear Ear Infection,
So what you thought why not kick me while I’m down? Did you think I wouldn’t notice this tugging on the right side of my head once the Congestion-of-Doom went away? I guess if I’m paying a co pay and shelling out a ton at the drug store I might as well get everything at once.


Dear Weird Rash that covered Moses head to toe,
Is it honey from the cough medicine? Is it peanut butter from his beloved daily sandwich? Is it some weird vitamin found in his Flintstone gummy? Is it something they are feeding him at school? Whatever it was you covered that boy’s body like you were white on rice (or brown in this household). Thanks for letting Moses experience his first ever oatmeal bath and letting me experience scratching someone else’s butt crack for the first time. It was real, it was fun but it wasn’t real fun.


Dear New Job,
I promise my life normally isn’t this crazy. Thanks for being understanding and asking me to come back for a second and now third week.


Dear House,
Yes I see the layer of crap that’s building under the couch. Yes I see the waist high mound of towels that need to be washed. Yes I know you rather I treat you better but gemme a break. The last thing I want to do after being sick for a week and working all day long is put on the cleaning apron. I promise I’ll remove that junk pile from the dining room table today. Or tomorrow. Ok maybe Sunday….