Memory lane.

I’m sure if you feel any nostalgia towards the 1980’s and 90’s it’s due in part to seeing pictures and videos of the old TV shows and even better, home videos. We have a dozen or so from childhood that put our family in a VHS nutshell. Want to hear something really sad? I’ve never taken a legitimate home video of Moses. Yes I have a ton of 30 second to two minuet clips on the digital camera but as far as those movies you can sit down and watch…none, until this weekend. A co-worker heard Moses was playing Wee Ball this season and insisted I borrow her DVD recorder to capture the memories; oh my glorious moments on film! I did about 10 minutes of practice, 15 minutes of his game, and a 5 minuet Moses-in-the-moment filming and I loved it. I had the biggest smile while he sang and talked into the camera; he even unprompted reenacted one of my famous dance moves as a child…throwing yourself on the floor as dramatic as possible! It made me so heart happy to replay the video only moments after it happened because in a month, year, 5 years, 10 years, he won’t be the same Moses as he is in this very moment. There will be a time when I can’t precisely remember him at this age just as I have done with his first year of life but I can pull out this video and stroll down memory lane.

Life is so precious and Motherhood is such an honor.

March {The 25}

I definitely miss blogging. Life has been a mixed bagged of emotions lately so I’m happy to have accomplished a few more things on my list. I’m already two months behind on writing letters but plan to make up for it this coming month. I love being accountable to this list.

#3 Loose 20 pounds.

Welp, I’m down another 4 pounds this month putting the total at 14 pounds lost total! Just writing that made me smile because I’ve been struggling lately and I have to remember the overall goal takes time and daily determination. Somewhere in my mind I turned losing 10 pounds into a celebration and slowly started to slack on my point counting and accountability to the program. It’s hard to make good choices everyday but then I see the results, good or bad, during my weigh in Saturdays. My goals for April, track everything. Everything. Everything.

#9 Bake/Cook something new and challenging each month.

I am a fish eater! Thanks to some Twitter Mommy Friends I was encouraged to try Tilapia for the first time EVER and I actually really like it. I’ve made a fish taco recipe then mostly I’ve been slightly seasoning and lightly breading and baking it. It’s fast, it’s healthy, and it’s tasty! For $9 I can buy a bag that will last two meals; winning!

#11 Join a Women’s Bible study

This isn’t a Women’s bible study but it’s actually something I’m far more excited about so I’m counting it! We are now part of a Home Group at church! Home Group (HG) is a study focused on building Christian relationships while discussing that week’s sermon. To be honest Davy and I are in such a middle ground in life right now that this is exactly what we need; we need to be pushed out of our comfort zone and gain a few quality Christian couple friends along the way.

#12 Entertain friends/ family at least once a month at our house.

We had our dear friend Melissa and her little hubby lookalike daughter Emmy come and stay with us for the weekend. I love hosting them because a. she has a special place in my heart and her company is so warm and b. they are very easy, laid back house guests. We played in the pool, went to the Jr. Museum, made incredible good dairy free chocolate cake, ate some more, talked a lot, and laughed at our kids. Unfortunately I got sick the second night she was there but I get to make up for lost time when we go visit their family this month!

Seeds.

We had just been seated at El Jalisco’s Mexican restaurant after church yesterday and Moses is bouncing off the walls excited because he gets to sit next to Aunt Molly. He is over the moon happy that Grammy is back in town and his seat happens to be right next to the window overlooking the parking lot. Out of nowhere he picks up halfway through the story he was telling us in the car.

“JESUS IS ALIVE” he shouts.  Then he proceeds to tell us “He died for three…a couple days. They put Him in a tomb. Yeah... He was in a tomb. Then they opened the tomb and He was wrapped in paper (as he is showing us with his hands what it would be like if paper was wrapped around his shirt) and He was stinky (as he holds his nose and crinkles his face as if he smells Jesus across the table). And now He is ALIVE and He lives in Heaven.”

And that my friends, melted my heart. My three year old is retelling his best interpretation of Easter. JESUS is alive, and maybe for the first time ever, has comprehended and accurately retold a story he learned in Sunday school. It didn’t break and explode my heart until Davy casually mentioned Moses just told us something that he himself had never heard until age 13. Not knowing the Bible until your teenage years is baffling to me because as a child who grew up in the church I have no idea what it’s like to hear those stories for the first time as they seem to just be ingrained knowledge in my brain.

What Moses has right now is the upper hand. The little stories grow into more little stories which grow into bigger more detailed stories which one day grow into the epiphany that our God is great and humongous and LIVING! And when he does eventually decide to show acts of rebellion and sneak out of the house or lie to us or turn his back on God he will always have those little stories. Those little stories which stir up conviction and kindly remind him of the relationship he once had and will hopefully reel him back in and nurture the growth of a Godly man…those little stories are everything.

my weight loss and small babies.

My one month checkup happened last week but since my weigh-ins are not until Saturdays I had to wait to share the news.

I’ve lost 10 pounds.

That’s a baby. That’s 10 numbers going down on the scale. That’s half my goal.

Well actually my In Caroline’s Head “goal” is 25 pounds but when I first wrote The 25 I thought writing 20 was scary enough that there was just no way I could make it to 25. But here I am, already halfway to that 20 and well on my way to my goal. Honestly, my goal is to feel better on the inside and out, to be healthy, and active, and happy, and heck, put on clothes and feel good how I look in them!

Most importantly, I’m feeling great! The first 10 days I was down 5 pounds of mostly water weight (because who really loses 5 pounds in 5 days) and then after that it’s been determination and praying that’s got me to where I am. See I’m not just plumpy from “genetics” or “big boned”…I’m plumpy because I freaking love food. Staying on course has been a daily choice with the first 2 weeks literally being an hourly choice. The best part about the program is in all honestly I can eat whatever I want. I was really craving Starbucks last week so I worked my entire day’s points so that I could enjoy 6 points through a green straw. My saving grace has been dark chocolate; 1 little piece is 1 point so in the afternoons if I just HAVE TO HAVE IT I’ll have 1 and be done.

I keep the house stocked with foods I enjoy and that I can eat so I’m not tempted and I’m not spending 2 hours every night planning out my eating life. SkinnyTaste.com has never been more important to me than it is now because it has graciously already calculated all the points for me AND I already know how delicious her recipes are.

Making good food choices has been helpful but for my mental sanity I’ve formed this small support group that keeps me going every day. We are always asking each other how it’s going that day or give each other motivation or share recipes; it’s been wonderful!

This coming month the most important thing for me is to not lose focus. I understand the weight will not come off as easy anymore and some weeks I may only lose .5 pounds BUT I have to keep going every single day. I have goals and a few things on The 25 list requires me to be at a different state physically (a bikini in this current body, no way!) making this weight loss journey even more important to me.

This blog and particularly these post make me very transparent which is not always the most comfortable thing to put out there HOWEVER if my journey gives just one person the inspiration to start loving yourself more than doughnuts then it’s worth it! From a girl who loves food more than shoes I promise YOU CAN DO IT!

Overflowing.

I love when he says “Mommy guess what….I….love….YOU!”

Or when I slip my hand down the back of his pants and squeeze his hiney he starts to giggle and yell for daddy “HELP she’s getting my tooshy….save meeee”.

Or how he is completely comfortable letting me dress him in whatever I want; including a cable knit sweater or TOMS and skinny jeans. “Moses, go get your red shoes.” “My red shoes?” he replies “Your TOMS” I clarify “Ooo my TOMS”.

Or when his eyes light up when I tell him something other than “we’re going to school today” or “we’re going home after this”. He loves taking trips to see his Grandmothers or Chick Fil a or when I’ve got a little treat in my car or when we go to Publix or Target.

Or how he says words with weird accents or completely wrong: “Jack and Jiiiil went up a hiiill” (the best way to describe it is saying in your best country voice OH HELL)

Or his peculiar need to be so particular.

Or how he finishes my sentences when reading his favorite books, particularly David & Goliath as told by Chuck Smith.

Or that he is so incredibly observant. The other day I drove a way I never go and we happened to kind of pass Nuberi Frozen Yogurt and he looked at me at the red light and asked if we were getting ice cream then pointed to their sign. I’ve taken him there twice and it was at least 6 months ago. Then he asked if Molly would be there because that’s who went with us.

Or how completely joyous his personality is and his zeal for life is consuming.

Or how he likes to eat a banana or peanut butter sandwich every single morning within three minutes of waking up. His new favorite, peanut butter, jelly, and honey…because one topper clearly isn’t enough.

Or how he gets really close to my face and just looks and smiles at me with eyes that tell me we love each other to the moon and back.

February, and so we begin.

You know the itch I was talking about the other day? The 25 is filling it on a very small scale. As I already start to cross off 1/12^th of a few of these numbers as well as entire numbers themselves I look forward to how I am going to cross off the rest. I am already thinking of making Davy swim out to the other lounging dock with the camera in 4 zip lock baggies so he can snap a picture of my big #22 jump. But then again he is known for not taking the best pictures so maybe he’ll be my moral support at the jumping point and I’ll get someone else to snap the picture. #22 is only happening once in my adulthood so I want that picture to turn out!

  

#9 Bake something new and challenging each month.

I successfully made cake pops. I am considering them new because I have tried once before and failed miserably. They were jumbo, they were pink, and they were Moses’ most favorite Valentine.

  

#12 Entertain friends/ family at least once a month at our house.

Earlier this month my parents were out of town so we took advantage and used their house for a get together one Sunday afternoon. We invited four friends over for a cook out and game of volleyball. There were some laughs, friendly competition, and bruised bodies when the day was over.

 

#18 Volunteer long term at church.

You are looking at the newest baby whisperer for the church nursery. This round the church was having a lack of volunteers for the Children’s Ministry as a whole and seeing as babies are good for the soul and my ever growing baby rabies I thought it would be a perfect place to serve. I’ll update in a couple months if this helped take some of my yearning away or made it worse (warning: I’m calling it now I’ll having raging baby rabies by mid summer).

#3 Loose 20 pounds.

The pounds are coming off. I’m keeping this under wraps until my Weight Watchers update next week!

The itch.

The itch. It’s when out of nowhere you start get all sorts of ideas about how your life should be. All the sudden you’re selling your car and moving your family to Europe to live off the cobbled streets and eat cheese every single day. One of you works as an English tutor while the other one teachers the toddler French phases and strolls the market. You live in a house the size of your bedroom but you don’t care because you’re happy and adventurous and exploring and LIVING. Or your spending your days staying home with your babies managing the house and play dates and the budget and teaching the color Red and what you can cook with apples. Your Husband comes home and dinner is coming out of the oven and the lamps are actually dusted and your house is a home and life is good. The itch takes over every practical thought until you’ve traveled past the glorified version of this scenario into the realistic questions like what about health insurance in Europe and where will be store all our pointless things while were away and how can we secure financial security when we return and how can we hug Grammy over Skype. Or how can we pay all our debt and save enough money and afford life on one income when we are patiently waiting for our next paycheck to arrive to pay off these months bills.

And then the itch is slowly subdued by life’s reality and you come back down to exactly where you were ten minutes earlier while you consciously file away that itch with all the others on the top shelf of your brain.