twelve.

I wish more of my friends where pregnant/ having babies right now. It’s hard I only have a couple married friends which none are even thinking of kids right now. I read my friend’s blog and see how she has all these friends with babies and they have play dates and do things together and I’m jealous of those relationships that are so easy for me to relate to. I know my girlfriends love Moses, but they aren’t moms yet, and can’t relate to so many things I want to discuss or get advice on. I want to talk about details that only new mom’s care about. I crave those relationships but at the same time, I work full time and I would never have the time to make play dates or have those conversations.
It’s tough being torn between the life of a stay home mom or the life of college and full time career mom. Of course right now I don’t have any option but to work full time and so its not that hard to pick, but just talking in the future and having to decide what I want to do. I love the thought of having a fulfilling career and researching and exploring things I enjoy, but at the same time, I want to be able to pick up Moses from school and be at his games and cook dinner for Davy and be a good housewife. What job starts at 8 and gets over at 3, and is in the field of psychology? That’s the job I need! One positive thing I see for the future is when Moses graduates high school, I’ll be 38! To me, 38 is definitely a young enough age to go back to work or explore different areas of my career….. life isn’t over after 40 either, so I have hope for the future!
I don’t want to be that mom that thinks her baby is so advanced and better than all the other babies. When I talk about Moses’ progression it’s simply because it fascinates me and I love to see him growing up. The only time I ever see babies close to him age are for 10 minuets at church on Sunday’s so in reality I don’t even know how he compares to other babies, but as far as soon! I can tell (according for our baby book) he’s not lacking in anything!
He’s such a droller! Oh my gosh, he soaks through clothes and bib’s like it’s a competition! He loves to chew on his hands, or our fingers, or anything he can stuff in his mouth. We got him a RaZberry teether (looks like I giant raspberry shaped pacifier) and he likes to chew on that. He puts everything on the side of his mouth so he can press his gums hard against it. I’m happy it gives him relief but I hope he doesn’t start chomping on me anytime soon!

eleven.

I’ve been reading a bunch of people’s blogs lately and decided I would love to stay on top of my journaling just to see the progression of Moses and life instead of trying to recall all those little precious moments.
The biggest milestone this month was on the same day: Moses rolled from his stomach to back AND slept in his crib for the first time. He rolled over at Grandma’s house when I was at work ( of course I miss the first first milestone!) and then later when I got home Davy showed me if he lays down and cries long enough he will push himself over! He only did it a few times when we was angry and then a week or so later he was just cooing in the monitor so I went into his room and he had quietly flipped himself over! Jumping back to that big milestone day, I decided to put him in his crib that night because of the event that look place the night before in his bassinette. In the middle of the night he started crying (normally would only wiggle in the night) so I learned my arm over to hold his hand and all the sudden I felt his head in a weird position. He was still crying hard so I looked over and saw his body turned completely horizontal in the bassinette and his face smashed up against the side of the wall cocked in a way I knew he was in pain. I tried to push his body but he had wiggled himself so far horizontally that he was literally stuck! So I jumped up and pulled him out of the bed and just cuddled him. I felt so bad for him because I knew he was getting too big for the bassinette but just had been lazy about putting him in the bed because I didn’t want to have to get up 10 times in the middle of the night to make sure he was okay. So that night was his first night in the crib away from us. I rolled blankets up next to him and cuddled him up tight. Its been so many weeks I can’t really remember, but I know I only had to go in his room a few times to pat him. He’s now been in the bed for weeks and we go in there 2 or 3 times a night to put his covers back on him and “shhsh” him.
He is getting so big and has progressed so much its crazy to think he was only born 3 months ago. This weekend he rolled over stomach to back for the first time while Davy was trying to change his diaper on the bed. He’s also started to sit up in the “Bumbo” seat for 5/10 min. at a time and LOVES watching the TV. Nothing in particular on TV, but just the constant movements on the screen fascinates him. He also still loves to look in the mirror. In the dressing room at Target last week he was making himself smile and coo by looking at the reflection of himself smiling in the mirror! I got a picture of it- I’ll try to upload it in the blog.
When he was younger he used to just sit and stare at the big mirror above our couch that has a dark frame around it. we thought he liked the contrast of a white wall and dark frame so when he would fuss we would hold him where he could see the mirror and say “look at your frame” and he was just calm down and star!
I know this blog is jumping all over the place, it’s just I haven’t wrote all these little memories down in so long when they come to mind I want to type them out as quick as I can!

A NEW START. ten.

I wrote this when Moses was 7 weeks old. I have a few more blogs on my home computer that I will post so the last 3 months come together and somewhat flow.

Moses has started sleeping more and more during the night the past few weeks. I
never have to wake up and do a middle of the night feeding. He was going to bed
around 2 and then sleeping until 7/8 or so, but now we have slowly moved him
back until closed to 12:30/1. My first work of week was last week and by the
time Friday night came around I really wanted to sleep in Saturday. So I guess
Moses knew I needed some sleep because he slept from 12:30 to 9:30. he will
start waking up but if we put his passey in his mouth he will fall back asleep
for ten min and then wiggle around so we repeat the process. Sometimes he will
just do that for about an hour before he is actually ready to get up. Its
wonderful knowing once he goes down he’s down for the night. i can’t believe he
will be “2 months” old next Thursday! I can no longer say he’s __ old in weeks,
but now he’s months old! He’s getting so big right before my eyes.
His new
thing this week is liking us hold his hand when he goes to bed or fussy. I’ll
lay him down and grab his hand and push it up nice and close to his body. Maybe
he feels like he’s secure and not alone when we do it, but it brings him instant
comfort and I love it!

nine.

This is why I would never call myself a “blogger”, I can’t even stay consistent with blogging once a month! It’s been way too long since I updated last and I hate myself for it because there are so many little details I wish I would have wrote down while still fresh in my mind.
Biggest thing going on, 5 more day’s until Moses’ due date! Five days, less than a week, ah! We went to the doctors yesterday and I have had the same progression for three weeks in a row now. 1 cm dilated, 70% effaced, and he’s sitting around -1 pelvis station. So he’s placed himself in a nice little spot, and 70% is a good number, but for three weeks in a row now…. Come on Moses’, give us a little progression forward! I want him to come when he’s ready, and I’m not going to have them induce labor (unless medically necessary), but it just seems so discouraging that he hasn’t budged in weeks! Most people say 1st babies come later than earlier, plus I’m content with him not coming on Christmas (TOMORROW), so I guess he can just hang in there until he’s ready. When mom was pregnant with Danyell she went to the doctors and they told her o you have a while don’t worry and then that weekend sitting on the toilet her water broke and Danyell was born three weeks early- so you really never know when they’re coming!
Tomorrow or two weeks away, he’s coming regardless and I’m so excited, and extremely nervous at the same time. Because I love to have a plan and control over most situations it makes me extremely anxious knowing I will have no idea what his birthday will consist of and have no way to put it on pause or go back and do it different. I feel a little better now that most of the stuff being packed in the hospital bags is sitting on the floor in piles ready to be put in the bag, and we have a birth plan and phone list typed up ready to go. His nursery is all set up (I love it and need to learn how to post pictures on here!) and the car seat is in my car (although Davy and I are convinced we did it wrongL).
I don’t know if the emotional side has really overwhelmed me yet because it hasn’t really registered, I’m going to be a mother to someone for the rest of their life. Davy and I will be parents and take care of someone else’s life every single day. It’s a responsibility that’s completely foreign to me and I think will stay that way until the day he’s born. Someone will call my mommy and I will be someone’s hero at one point in their life. It’s a roll that you can read up and practice only so much until its reality and I’m holding him in my arms. My friend Sarah Gray keeps telling me that moment when they put them on your stomach after their born is something she will never forget and advises me to feel take in that moment and treasure it.
I could go on forever but will wait until after Christmas to update again. I promise to keep more frequent with my thoughts and details.
Who knows….the next time I sign on Moses could be here!

eight. and a half.

I just wanted to post a side blog with all the details of the engagement! So Wednesday night after church I went to have coffee with my girlfriends. All three of my best friends (Sarah, Melissa, & Beth) agreed to come and hang out which I thought was just wonderful because we never all get to hang out on a week night. So we get our drinks and sit down to talk and Anthony (Melissa’s husband) calls her and starts telling her that the radio station (one I don’t listen to) is doing their around town scavenger hunt trivia game. The game was: the say a riddle about a certain place in town over the radio and then the first person to crack the riddle and get to the location wins $5000 ($1 bills) and 4 tickets to the “Walking with Dinosaurs”. So she starts saying the riddle and something about the road Betton. Well conveniently the coffee pub is very close to Betton. So we, well mostly me, starts freaking out and decides it’s a great idea for all of us to jump in the car and play the game. Well of course a competition, money, and dinosaur tickets are all right up my alley and so I’m immediately very into the game and very determined to win. Let me just pause and say Melissa did such a good job playing along, the way she was talking to Anthony and acting so nervous and excited had me completely fooled.
So the riddle has something to do with a bench, and tree and swing and peddles. Our first thought is the park off Betton, so we pull in and already I’m demanding beth to drive over here and shine her lights over there trying to find a matching description. So we see a bunch of rose bushes at one side of the park so we take off that way on foot looking for the prize. I’m yelling at beth telling her to pull her car off the road and shine her lights at the flowers so we could see better but she was acting all dumb and wouldn’t do it knowing what was coming. So here we are with cell phones in hand trying to light up the ground. We found a bench and feel under it trying to find some kind of clue. So we are having no luck and I’m getting bummed because it all made sense that the prize would be here. So then the girls start asking if there are any more rose gardens around here, me, being angry at slacker beth and sarah (for standing by the car and not really helping) starts to get frustrated because of course there is no other flowers in the park.
And then all of the sudden I remember my dad’s girlfriend lives off Spruce road which is off Betton rose and right by her house is this beautiful rose garden. So I freak thinking no one else would think of that and we all pile in the car and head that way. Emotions and excitement is peeking and Melissa starts saying comments like “we could really win this” and “this has to be it”. So we pull up the rose garden and I’m yelling to beth to drive on the grass to shine better light on everything, she claims she doesn’t want to get in trouble, so we end up parking and practically running over the this bench by the swing. We are feeling under it but nothing. Then I remember inside the rose garden the tree with a bench built all the way around it. So we all start creeping threw the rose bushes and by then the girls are so far behind me acting almost scared. I yell “you’re going to make the pregnant girl walk first” and so we get to the middle of the garden and there are all these cut roses sitting around the bench. I make the comment “looks like someone just got engaged” but even at this point I’m still oblivious to whats really going on.
Then out of no where all these lights turn on. Christmas lights were wrapped all through the tree and rose bushes and my first thought was WE WON. We had found the location and the prize was ours. In a sort of confusion we are all kind of just standing there and then this guy, all dressed up, comes walking down the pathway towards me. I thought this has to be the radio DJ because we just won. As he got closer I realized it was davy. “Davy?” I asked in complete confusion. The thoughts going threw my head were “why is he here, he’s supposed to be at work, did he already win?” then he walks up to me and as nervous as could be dropped down to one knee! (tried to say the sweet things) and asked if I would marry him. At this point I was in total shock. Of course I said yes and tears were flowing with the best emotions I’ve ever felt. ( I’m currently tearing up writing this at work!) He was so nervous that he just handed me the open box with the ring in it, so as we were hugging I whispered “can you put the ring on my finger?”.
Out from the bushes comes his best friend Joe, and Anthony. Then my sister and dad and jan come walking over from across the street and by this time I was just beaming with excitement that all the details of how the set it up and devised a plan just added to the perfect engagement! How could someone love me so much so to have thought about this for weeks and planned every detail to come out just perfect? I have the best fiancé and can’t wait to be his wife for the rest of our lives!

eight.

I looked at the baby counter and 46 days left seems to have come so quick. Maybe because so much has changed since I last blogged that I feel like it’s all coming to an end (and well beginning at the same time) so soon!
First, we signed the lease and started moving into our new place! I love it and wish I could start living there now, just half the house is still in boxes and the bed is currently an air mattress. My nesting is now stronger than ever so even if I just go over for a little bit each day and unload a box or clean up an area it makes me feel good. Thankfully, we already have most of the big furniture or the stuff we don’t have people have given us. The only big thing we’re missing right now is a TV stand for our new massive TV and a dresser for Moses’ room. I can’t wait to walk in the house with it all set up and decorated and it finally feel like home.
Second, we got engaged! It happened on Wednesday the 29th, I’ve just been too busy to blog the details. Lets just say I was completely surprised and Davy did an amazing job planning it all out. He had me in tears, and laughing, and overwhelmed with happiness.
Third, and currently happening in less than three hours is, my work baby shower! Today is going by so slow anticipating the excitement of this afternoon. It still baffles me how people I work with would put effort and money into someone they barely know! Everyone is walking around so bubbly today just as excited for me to open all the gifts, and see the cake and decorations as I am! I can’t wait to blog about how great the shower was, but I already know it’s going to exceed my expectations!
Just an update on the birthing class, it’s amazing and also exceeding my expectations. The class is just for informative and Vikki is teaching us things I never even knew about during delivery and has just completely calmed our nerves about the big day. Davy also loves the class and that has made it a total bonding experience; I know that on the big day he is going to be the best coach! I feel so relaxed and call me crazy, but have even considered not getting an epidural!

seven.

62 days left seems like an eternity…..
I have nothing but good news to share. The biggest thing is we found a place to live! Well, hopefully. It’s this great 2/1 in Killearn that has a big carport and screened in back porch. It’s higher than we would have liked to pay, but still within out budget. The reason I say hopefully is because it’s not ours yet, we have to submit our application today and hope it gets approved! We really want the place, and the renters would love for us to move there, it’s just a matter of our application going through. Keep your fingers crossed and pray that it’s ours by the first of the month!
Another exciting thing is I started a completely new project at work. I won’t bore with all the details, but it’s a much needed change of pace and work the past two days has actually been enjoyable!
Finally, we started our birthing class last night (or as Davy likes to call it, our “breathing” class)! I was a bit nervous/ anxious driving to the class because I didn’t know what to expect. What the teacher would be like, what the other people in the class would be like, and just overall if it would freak me out even more about d-day (or b-day). Thankfully, it was better than I expected. There is only four other couples in the class with us and most of them seem pretty normal and have the same kind of fears I do about labor. The teach is my good friend Lauren’s mother who I’ve already heard is a good teacher, but never knew how knowledgeable she was! The first class we just introduced ourselves and talked about discomforts of pregnancy and ways to prevent/help them. The class is 2 ½ hours long each week, which seemed like a long time to learn about birthing, but in actuality there is so much she wants to tell us, she had to cut herself off. And another I thought was funny is we have snack time halfway through class- I feel that’s only appropriate with a room full of pregnant women! I hope we get a lot out of the class and when the actual day comes we can practice some of the moves and not just lay there and freak out!