Sending out an SOS

Dear Friday,

Thank you for allowing me to wear jeans and being all around the best day of the work week. You always guarantee at least 3 different group conversations on random tangents that keep me out of the cubical for more time than I deserve. I will always be grateful for days that start with F.
- Cubical Caroline


Dear Nickelodeon Storytime Live!
Why must you insist on turning on all the lights for a 15 minuet intermission during a 90 minuet children’s show. Don’t you know that once a toddler is distracted it is very difficult to get them to sit still for the rest of your show?
- Love Mommy
Ps. $15 for a Dora light-up-flashy-thing, really?
P.p.s My three year old niece could even spot Moose was just “a man wearing a costume”; for thirty dollars a ticket I think you could splurge on a little more mush fabric to cover the actors face. Kthxbye.


Dear women with very large curly afro/extensions sitting in the row in front of us yesterday,
I am sorry my son thought your hair was the best part of the show and insisted on standing behind it the second half of the show (please see above letter to Nickelodeon). I am also sorry you thought my son knew what the stank eyes you kept flashing meant; he’s a toddler, you’re at a toddler program, get over it. Oh yes, I am genuinely sorry he eventually pet your friends hair, that was crossing the line.
- Love The naughty boy’s mom


Dear Chick Fil A,
Why must you be so tasty? Why must you be so close to my house? Why must you play mind tricks on me and force me to eat your fried chicken sandwich and waffle fries last night? So nicely packages, so reasonably priced, so happy afterwards. You are evil and I refuse to visit you anymore.
- Love #1 with no pickles

Dear P90X,
Chickey made me do it; it’s a trace I get sucked into and can’t escape. Yes I promise to stay focused this weekend, no I won’t eat co worker chocolate cake, yes I plan on doing ab ripper X tonight. Please forgive me. I love you Tony Horton.
- Love Day 4 failure